Kevin O'Bryan

Tag: People

  • Letting Go of the Need to Know

    Letting Go of the Need to Know

    It has taken me a long time to learn an important lesson about life and relationships. It is the fact that I do not need to understand or ‘figure out’ why people treat me a certain way.

    I know there’s a popular saying that goes “it’s none of my business what other people think of me,” but I’ve come to realize the value in getting rid of not just the need to know, but the why behind it all.

    There is so much to gain from not having the need to know why people treat you a certain way, especially when it is negative.

    For example, I remember a time when a relationship I was in ended. I was in a lot of pain as I attempted to process everything about the situation. More stressful however, were my attempts to try and figure out why the other person did what they did to hurt me and how they felt about me.

    I became a slave to my ‘need’ for this knowledge, holding it like a warm coal to keep me going, or so I thought. But what I was really doing was placing a burden on myself by trying to discover something that could neither help me nor change what had already happened.

    Can you imagine thinking that knowing why someone ‘broke your heart’ would free you? Yes, it took me a minute.

    Another instance was when a long time ‘friend’ slowly drifted away. They stopped communicating with me, acted like I was the one who made the 180 degree move and went silent, when all I did was follow their lead.

    For years I racked my brain trying figure out what changed? What did I do? What expectation did I not live up to?

    I was hurt.

    It gets Better

    In both situations I was at the mercy of this supposed obligation on my part. Trying to figure out people’s motivation, like a private eye and lawyers piecing together a murder mystery to ascertain motive. But all that was burdensome and simply made me sad.

    So over time I realized that it was fruitless and counterproductive.

    Knowing would not help me anyway and was needlessly tying me to people who really couldn’t care less about me.

    The decision therefore was for me to let go and free myself from this need.

     

     

    Almost instantly I realized the freedom there was, in not having to know why a person treated me a certain way.

    After having a quiet conversation with my ego I also acknowledged that rejection in any form is painful, but it’s also complete, no follow up answer necessary.

    I didn’t need an explanation of the other person’s ‘why’ to move on with my life. In fact, the sooner I let go of that notion, the quicker my freedom will come. Sure, the questions may linger at the back of my mind, but I refuse to be burdened by the need to know.

    Many of us fall into the trap when mourning relationships of trying to figure out the ‘why’ of it all – “why did this person choose to push me aside why does this person treat me a certain way?”

    But this gets us nowhere because it doesn’t change the reality of the rejection and it doesn’t free us from the memory of that hurt. So then what?

    It’s simply not wise to belabour the point.

     Much Better

    The other side of this coin has made my life so much more glorious!

    Listen, when people choose to walk away, I don’t even ask two times why and I refuse to worry about it.

    I’m good. Do you boo!

    If excommunicating me from your life is a positive life decision for you, I don’t need to be told twice. *peace*

    In the same vein, if people treat me a certain way, I am not trying to be their therapist. If it is too much for me to handle, then I’ll handle accordingly. Life’s too short trying to always question why people make certain uncomfortable decisions.

    I recognised just how powerful this stance is when I had to caution my closest friend on many occasions. She was always trying to figure out the thinking behind her tormentor’s motivations.

    “How could they think and behave the way they do?”

    I was always there to reminder her: “That’s not your concern and should not get in the way of your healing and progress, so keep it moving.”

    This was not her battle nor was it beneficial to her, attempting to know that. We live, we learn.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda

    Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda

    On March 25, 2018, Linda Brown, the school girl who was at the centre of the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that resulted in the desegregation of American Public Schools in 1954, died.

    Her death was notable because the case that brought her to prominence changed the course of history and was one of many that changed the lives of people of colour in the United States.

    The often referenced case ‘Brown vs. Board of Education’ challenged segregation rules which prevented young Linda from enrolling into a then, all white school, which was close to her home. The alternative was for her to be shuttled miles away, to a ‘black school’ across town in her home state of Kansas.

    Fast forward to 2018, racial tensions are at an all time high in the United States and around the world, various minority populations are seeking their own avenues, to have their fundamental rights addressed and acknowledged.

    This brings me home to Jamaica where some citizens are being denied rights and protections that are taken for granted by the masses. Specifically, vulnerable LGBT Jamaicans, who have to negotiate the systems that are meant to serve all citizens, with much more trepidation and potential barriers.

    Depending on where you are situated in Jamaican society, the narrative around LGBT people may have been presented to you as such:

    “The Gay Lobby”, “Overseas Gay Groups” or the ever popular “The Gay Agenda”

    All are terms used to describe the seemingly invisible, invasive and otherworldly presence of people of differing identities, who are and have been part of our society from time immemorial. These terms speak specifically to the perceptible voice and visibility which bucks convention by simply existing to challenge status quo.

    ‘The Gay Agenda’

    That J-FLAG, the human rights and social justice organisation advocating for the rights of LGBT Jamaicans, launched a manifesto in February, is telling. Entitled The Gay Agenda, it is immediately provocative, in name only, and may lead some to ponder the content of such a document.

    In reclaiming a slur which has been used to demonise a segment of Jamaican society, the real conversation can now begin, in demystifying the real “agenda” of advocates, allies and the many people and organisations that are working with and in support of creating a better Jamaica, for all our citizens.

    rights

    The 34 page manifesto seeks to present the LGBT voice on issues of National importance. It is not an ‘evil plan’ bent on destroying families and communities but instead should be juxtaposed with the Vision 2030 National Development plan which seeks to make “Jamaica, the place of choice to live, work, raise families and do business.”

    What may surprise many who take the chance to review the document is that a repeal of the buggery law is not at the centre of this manifesto. As was outlined in this letter to the editor of the Gleaner, ten years ago, there are other shackles that bind the lives of LGBT Jamaicans.

    rights

    The “agenda”, seeks to make clear what these are and articulate a clear vision for how they can be manifested.

    For me, some of the more intriguing aspects were found in the segments addressing Health, Education, Housing & Social Security and Employment. I’ve pulled out two areas from each that I feel were particularly revelatory. These are areas that have been deemed key to engendering a better way of life for LGBT Jamaicans, when they are addressed.

    Health

    Stigma and discrimination faced by the LGBT population when accessing healthcare is eradicated.

    Trans healthcare is integrated into medical education.

    Education

    Homophobic and transphobic bullying will be explicitly banned and punished.

    Gender norms and harmful gender stereotypes are addressed at the secondary level.

    Housing and Social Security

    The social protection strategy is revised to look at the vulnerability of minority groups including LGBT Jamaicans.

    Amendment to the rent restriction act to outlaw evictions based on tenants sexual orientation or gender identity.

    Employment

    There are laws which prevent all forms of discriminatory treatment in hiring, firing and promoting.

    Men and women receive equal pay for equal work.

    This snapshot is by no means exhaustive, as the document covers a number of other areas in even more categories, including many that are not specific to LGBT Jamaicans only.

    rights

    In February last year, Gleaner columnist, Annie Paul satirised some of the furore surrounding the much feared and vilified ‘Gay Agenda’.

    With said agenda now available here for consumption, a new light can be shed on the vision for Jamaica, held by LGBT citizens.

    Equal Rights

    When the Brown vs Board of Education case ended in 1954, the Supreme Court of the U.S. struck down the doctrine of “separate but equal” as unconstitutional because it denied guarantees of equal protection under the law.

    It is clear that much is unequal in Jamaica today, but every step forward, can help to change this.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • People we should leave behind in January 2018

    People we should leave behind in January 2018

    We have a way of mistitling and misrepresenting the people in our lives. We mistakenly call some ‘friends’, ‘day ones’, ‘girlfriend’, ‘boyfriend’, ‘Bae’ – all in the name of placement and proximity.

    The truth is, over time, we pay dearly for these mistakes because every person in your life comes at a cost. The cost however is relative to how much of yourself you’re willing to put on the line for these people.

    So as we end the first month of 2018, I felt it was valuable to take a moment to identify and call out some of the characters that float through my life, and probably yours.

    Let’s declare it. We are leaving the whole lot of them in January 2018, where they belong! Let the year officially begin.

    The Liars

    Diana King has a famous song titled L-L-Lies which describes a lover who continues to lie through his teeth, despite the fact that he was caught practically red handed, cheating. The liar in your life is like that and even worse, because they are prone to lying to you about things that don’t even concern you.

    When someone close enough to you chooses to lie about their actions or things going on in their lives, it’s time to bid them farewell. The worst lies are stupid lies, told by even stupid(er) people. Leave that in 2017.

    The Time Vampires

    We are all trying to be progressive because life is about moving forward and levelling up. In 2018, many opportunities abound for us to level up and create the life that we deserve. In order to do that, we must harness our most valuable resource, strategically and efficiently.

    Time Vampires, are always up to hang and be idle, but never for anything productive or uplifting. They come in various forms too, such as that person you’ve been ‘kinda seeing’ but to date you’re unable to define what it is y’all have exactly – That’s time vampire behaviour!

    Don’t be anyone’s time piece! They are consuming your time at their convenience while you rationalise and call it complicated. Get real!

    The Perpetually Sorry

    If there is anyone in your life who has reason to be telling you ‘sorry’ alot, bid them farewell! Sorry is not a password for continued malfeasance and it usually outlives its usefulness after the fourth or fifth time being used to excuse the same action.

    Unfortunately, there are many people who believe that sorry is a cure-all that makes everything ok. It is not and you should not have to accept it.

    It becomes quite ridiculous when someone repeatedly finds them self in a position to be apologising, so much so that sorry becomes the word you most often associate with them. Let them keep the apologies and leave them and their bad ways in January 2018.

    The Borrowers

    Mendicancy is such a terribly unattractive quality. Too bad many of us have not grown immune to the power of those who are always begging/borrowing.

    You have plans for your life, you have a budget, you make sacrifices… yet this person always seems to be moving in the completely opposite direction in terms of values. So it comes like nothing for them to borrow from you. Good hearted as you are, you lend, freely. Then comes time for you to be repaid… there are a multiplicity of issues that surround you getting back your money. There’s drama. You vow never again. You forget. Then the borrower returns.

    Let’s leave these awful borrowing experiences in January 2018. The disrespect and misfortune that you experienced before should be left in the past. Make a pledge to give the gift of a NO more often and save yourself the trouble.

    The Ignorers

    It’s time to take back your attention. At this moment, there are people you are giving your energy and time to, and they have chosen to ignore you.

    Let go.

    Let’s focus on the real people, the ones who are present and who care for who you are. Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept the apology and explanation that you never received.

    There were a few more personas that I wanted to call out, but I feel that they would be pretty obvious. January was a good test run, it’s now time to really get the year started. Clear your space and your head because 2018 is officially open for business.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • We all have that one friend…

    We all have that one friend…

    This is not a slash and burn post.

    I am not telling you to identify and remove these people from your life.

    Acknowledging that the following people are in your life doesn’t mean that your life is toxic or that they are bad people.

    Instead consider this an exercise to give you insight into the different spirits that you contend with in different spheres of your life.

    Knowing who they are is half the battle.

    I have matured enough in my own personal journey to distinguish between who people are, and who I want them to be. It is the most freeing thing to know who your friends are and love them regardless.

    I made full disclosure about the imaginary ones here, so they won’t be featured, but let me know if these people exist in your life.

    The “I Can’t Live without Love” Friend

    How many times have you wondered to yourself “Why doesn’t ……….. take a break from relationships and dating and just chill?”

    You do this because this friend is always either heading into a situation or dealing with the aftermath of one. It seems like, if they are not in a relationship, they don’t feel whole. In fact, their existence and adulthood is defined by their dating status. Being single is NEVER an option because that would most certainly mean they have leprosy. They are often the biggest ‘Askholes’ in your life. Always asking for advise or counsel but never really paying it any mind, because… Love.

    They will either be an over sharer or a Harry Houdini when it comes to their relationships. So you can expect long conversations about their relationships when they’re in it, or you just don’t hear from them much at all.

    The “See you next year” Friend

    Every Christmas or carnival season, I can expect to either rekindle or be reintroduced to some acquaintances. These are the seasonal friends. Y’all don’t have any issues or nothing, but you just don’t talk much, except when you see each other at particular times during the year.

    There’s no need to take them too serious because you know that promises of “see you later” and “we’ll link” mean nada. These may also be the acquaintances who forget that you were ‘cool’ after all, but even that realization won’t change their seasonal status.

    If you’re deliberate about it, you can make that seasonal thing a tradition and link with them for special events only.

     The “Drama becomes me” Friend

    There are levels and then there are these people. Drama seems to define their existence, one dramatic, life changing thing to another. If the boy who cried wolf had a cousin who lived two villages over and cried Coyote, this friend would be that cousin. They are either caught up in some complex people situation of their own, or are party to someone else’s ‘shituation’.

    It may not help that they are really ‘troublemakers’ who may or may not be the ones to blame, more often than not. However, you don’t judge. As a friend you remain in your safe space and if it’s your thing, be entertained or just tune out.

    The “You’re my Emergency Contact” Friend

    Closely related, but not quite the same as the Drama-fied friend is this one – the perennial emergency contact. It would appear that this person has mentally listed you as their emergency contact for every single crisis in their life, be it serious or frivolous.

    Clearly, this person has never watched Forrest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates, not grenades.  It’s simply NOT natural to jump from crisis to crisis and expect a faithful friend to contend with it all.

    To be clear, emergencies happen and any good friend would be a guiding light to a loved one in need. However, when the decision to answer a phone call is preceded by heart palpitations and nervousness, there is a problem. Unfortunately, this particular friend may never consider the toll their ‘constant crises’ have on the life of the other person. They believe, incorrectly, that their ‘normal’ is ok.

    The “I am your Cheerleader Forever” Friend

    Many people talk about having a ride or die, how about having cheerleaders? People who are always there to just show love, especially when good things are happening in your life?

    Sadly, sometimes we spend so much time contending with the other folks, these people don’t get their due. The thing is, these may not be people you speak with everyday but are people you have a genuine link with, who understand and appreciate you.

    They are proud of your accomplishments and most importantly, are always willing to let you know this.

    Big dem up!

    The “I’m a moth give me your light” Friend

    Dearly beloved, we all have a Light within us that is continuously shining, even if we don’t see it or believe that it’s there.

    When that light burns brightest, is when these people literally come out of the wood work. These are your friends and acquaintances who you know from way back when. The peeps who you may’ve worked with back in the day, school mates, or those who you were once close to.

    Then one day, out of nowhere they emerge, seemingly to rekindle the ‘buddy-ship’. These are the moths. They feed off your light and are attracted by happenings in your life. Mind you, new people are also attracted to you in this way, but the main difference is, you are more likely to suss out a new people trying to get close to you.

    Someone who’s always been there, get’s less scrutiny. Funny thing is simple occurences can cause this re-emergence of a moth person.

    A simple thing as a new social media image, a career move that’s made public or (gasp) a new relationship can get them at your feet.

    The “User” Friend

    I’m sure you’ve seen this one on numerous lists of people that you should stay away from. The reality though, is that none of us are immune to being used and taken advantage of, especially by people we consider friends.

    The factor that makes us a winner or loser is reciprocity. It’s the degree of reciprocity that makes great relationships work, and bad ones toxic. Reciprocity doesn’t have to be acknowledged. However knowing that you can do something for a friend, knowing that it would be no consequence for them to do same or greater, if necessary, makes a huge difference.

    That said, there are some people we may have within and around our ‘circles’ who are NOT about that reciprocity life. They are takers through and through and will use the cloak of ‘friendship’ to milk you dry.

    Their behaviour is so pervasive that they are unable to differentiate between friend and conquest. Your kindness, to them may be a weakness. More dangerous are the ones who have been so spoilt by life, that they are unaware that they are using you up.

    Reality Check

    You may have elements of all of these ‘people’ embodied in one person you know. God Bless them.

    Figuring out the energy that’s best for you is a wholly personal experience and something that we all may need to do at some point to check ourselves.

    I learn new things about my friends and acquaintances everyday because the reality is, people make the world go round.

    No matter how much of an introvert or misanthrope you think you are, we need people.

    All that said, know your people and love them anyway.

    Sidenote – I didn’t mention the ‘negative friend’ because, I assume by now that we would rid ourselves of people who deal solely in bad vibes.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Stay Woke: Don’t get swindled on Vacay

    Stay Woke: Don’t get swindled on Vacay

    Many of us Jamaicans have been so convinced that we live in a scammer’s paradise that we put our guards down when we travel.

    Let’s admit it, some Jamaicans are ingenious and get up to the most vicious schemes in an effort to steal other people’s hard earned cash.

    But once we leave our island’s shores, do we take the same amount of care in securing our possessions?

    Or do we throw caution to the wind, in those countries where security and safety is not at the forefront of our concerns?

    I must admit, I am guilty of letting my guard down when overseas. Especially when it comes to being scrupulous in dealing with certain aspects of tourist life.

    I’m always willing to swipe my credit card, most times without checking terminals.

    Sometimes I don’t even consider the security warnings I receive in Jamaica, while conducting point-of-sale transactions at a retailer overseas.

    But I received  a wake-up call recently while travelling.

    Infamous: Hotel Food

    Typically, when I stay in hotels overseas, I seldom have meals there. Problem is prices are usually ridiculously high and the meals are often subpar.

    However I decided to test the mettle of the Hotel’s in-house food service team by having breakfast at the location.

    It was DIVINE!

    The scrambled eggs, hash browns, toast, fruits and Canadian ham I enjoyed on the first morning, guaranteed that I would return for my remaining days at the hotel.

    Hotel
    It tasted even better than it looked!

    As a rule, I always pay these bills, in cash after each meal. I hate having to even consider clearing a bill at the end of my stay at a hotel.

    For each day of my stay this was done during the breakfast period.

    Initially it felt a bit weird, leaving my money at the table, out in the open like that. Let’s be real, another guest could swipe it, then what?

    This ran across my mind a few mornings. In fact on the third morning, I had reason to hand the money directly to my server, in order to get change.

    That evening I decided to have dinner at the hotel as the thought of trekking through the streets to find a food spot was quite unappealing.

    Taste-wise, it wasn’t a bad decision either. The seafood chowder was heavenly and the grilled salmon on a bed of fingerling potatoes and green beans was amazing.

    Once I sat down to eat I realized that the wait staff was not the same personnel from the mornings. Nevertheless, I expected that the same level of customer service would be provided.

    Time to Pay Up

    As is customary, when I finished my meal, I asked for my invoice, reviewed it, and took out the cash needed to pay the bill, including a tip. I also recorded this on the invoice.

    I placed the cash under the invoice and then made my way to the front desk of the hotel to get some information on the express checkout service.

    That took me about two minutes.

    When I greeted the front desk attendant and told her what I was querying, she suggested that I could clear any amounts charged to my room.

    So I said ‘sure.’

    To the best of my knowledge, the only thing owing was a small charge for an orange juice. I had ordered it a day earlier but didn’t have my wallet to pay immediately.

    To my surprise, there was an additional charge, in the exact same amount as the dinner I just paid for, tip included.

    So I told her that the additional charge should not be there because I just paid it. She was in disbelief and when she checked when the amount was posted it showed that it was done only a few minutes before.

    I was understandably annoyed and she promised to check with the wait staff to have it rectified. I  could not wait so I returned to the restaurant.

    When I got there, I saw the girl who served me, clearing the table.

    I asked her if she had seen the money.

    She said “yes”  then added “I didn’t know if it was allowed for me to leave cash for payment, or if it was only to be charged to my room”… ??????????????

    I WAS SHOOK!

    I let her know that I don’t charge my room for ANYTHING and I always pay cash.

    That’s why I left the money.

    She said “ok, ok.”

    The Real

    Now, even a baby could see that she was trying to pull a fast one on me. I left the cash and once I got up she pocketed my payment and  proceeded to post the entire amount to my room.

    Thankfully, I had reason to check with the front desk staff or I would have been swindled. Then I’d be left to convince the hotel that I had in fact made the payment previously.

    Another front-desk employee, realising how grave the incident was, whispered to me that “a lot of the serving staff was new.”

    The experience taught me to follow my instincts and ensure that I always make my payment to the server. But even with my apprehensions about leaving my payment on the table, I overlooked the possible risks.

    I was lulled into this false sense of security but I won’t be making that mistake again.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

    What are some of your worst experiences while travelling? Let me know in the comments. Subscribe to the blog in the comments sections to get notified with each new post and share your content suggestions here.

  • Spare the Rod… and Machete

    Spare the Rod… and Machete

    After watching that video of the partly naked mother, viciously beating her daughter with a machete on Sunday, (reported on here) I was part amused and mostly dismayed.

    I was amused because the dang dog reminded me of so many people, who are always making an effort to be in the middle of everything, and then get hurt.

    But I was dismayed because what I saw, was a family at its lowest point and our Jamaican women, once again set up for ridicule.

    I took my feelings to Facebook and penned this:

    The video of the mother beating a girl who I assumed to be her daughter is distressing. And most of us will view it with outrage. That is appropriate, but I am distressed about what happened, not because I’m upset that a woman was beating her daughter with a machete. But by the fact that a mother even thought it an option to do that in the first place. 

    A few years ago I would be blindly angry at the mother for what she did. But now, while I share my disgust with how she sought to discipline this girl, I also want to sit and have a talk with her. I really want to know what’s going on in her life.  What cut has she received so deep, that has caused her to walk away from her dignity in such a way? As for the dog… some of us can all learn a lesson from what happened to him/her.

    I’ve seen the outrage, heard many of the jokes and for a quick minute decided that I didn’t want to touch on this topic any further, until now.

    It’s Personal

    I, like many other Jamaicans, was beaten by a parent while growing up, as a form of discipline.

    No, I will never accept that beating me was justified, or the right way to discipline a child. There was no other option presented, as it was the only way I was disciplined.

    Personally, I feel it did more harm than good, but that’s another conversation all together.

    I have seen some of the commentary on this matter and I’m still trying to figure out what people are more upset about… the beating itself or the fact that it was done with a machete?

    I’m willing to commiserate with the mother, not because I believe she deserves pity for her stress, but because I recognise that society places the responsibility for disciplining her child squarely on her shoulders.

    Our current issue is that she ‘overdid it’ in many of our eyes. The fact is, some serious injury could’ve been caused to her daughter because of what she was doing.

    For the Culture

    Unlike some folks, nostalgia means nil to me, in this zero sum game of corporal punishment that is somehow glorified as a panacea for discipline, in seemingly every aspect of Jamaican life.

    Physically violence is a THING with our people.

    I find the outrage at this video alarming as well, as there is another popular video which has made the rounds on social media, showing what appeared to be a ‘neighbour’ disciplining the child of another neighbour.

    Similar to the current video in question, this was also in a ‘Big Yaad’ setting, because of course, putting working class people on ‘blast’ is never out of style.

    In that instance, she used her hands, to deliver some choice blows to the girl who protested violently.

    Kum-Ba-Yah?

    As was said here, Ms Dyer should be resocialised, not criminalised.

    She committed a crime and the consequences of that offence should be corrective but also something that helps us, as a community to be better.

    Her daughter too, also needs assistance. Not to learn to be a ‘good girl’ but to understand that that level of abuse is not normal and is not something she should expect from anyone, ever.

    Sadly, our culture insists that ‘two lick neva hurt nobody’. Therefore, displays like that witnessed Sunday, will continue to be tolerated and argued about. Less so, if a machete is not in play.

    Victim blaming will be the mainstay… ‘Di likkle girl muss bad.’

    I would wax philosophical and say that this is a teachable moment, and for some it will be, but I fear that culture will do what it often does, carry on.

    But while you’re at it, do us all a favour and report incidents of child abuse that you witness and know places a child in danger HERE. It really shouldn’t take several months and public outcry.

    Leave a comment and let me know how this whole thing makes you feel.

    If you have post suggestions, let me know here

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

  • It was just my Imagination?

    It was just my Imagination?

    When I was growing up, I had imaginary friends.

    I became conscious of these ‘friends’ when I was about 7 and for a few years, they were a big deal in my life.

    Now, these imaginary friends were actually the colours I saw dancing behind my eyelids when my eyes were closed. One was Reddie because, Red and another was Blue.

    They provided me some solace, as I grew up in a household being the only child. But most important, my imaginary friends gave me companionship.

    I remember at some point sharing the details of my imaginary friends with my cousins, one hot summer day, down in the country. They looked at me like I had just walked off the moon. They then let me know that having imaginary friends was weird.

    I ignored them of course and carried on, but as time and life went on, my imagination grew to create more formidable imagery, through books.

    All Grown Up

    My imaginary friends were no more, until now…

    For you see, I have discovered a strain of people that are just that, imaginary friends.

    People who we willingly give the titles – friend, acquaintance, brethren, yadda yadda…

    But in reality, they are completely imaginary, inauthentic, apparitions, who are unable to truly be part of your life.

    How can they be with you or for you, when they probably want what you have or may even resent you, just for being alive?

    Social media, in all its ephemeral glory makes them even more prevalent because they’re able to participate in your life, virtually.

    How do they do this you ask?

    By quietly watching and observing your every move. Your every snap, every whatsapp status update and every post to IG and Facebook.

    Because for them, keeping tabs on your every move is their way of keeping you in-check.

    By nature, these imaginary friends may have delusions of grandeur which leads them to having a larger than life imagination that positions them as your ‘competitor’.

    Take a moment right now, and identify those people in your life, who are barely there… The not quite friends but the not quite strangers, the ones who you were cool with but the season has passed.

    Once you know who they are, cut them loose. Free your mind, free your destiny, free up your energy.

    Jamaican people have a saying about friendship – “Good fren betta dan pocket money.”

    But there is another saying that is seldom heard nowadays – “Yuh shake man han, yuh nuh shake him heart.”

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin