Alone and Loving it
Society and the world would have you believe that you are out of place and somehow don’t fit in, if you choose to navigate certain spaces alone.
So ingrained has this idea become for many of us, the thought of going to a movie on your own scares many people, because it is simply NOT done. I will go further to say that society looks down on doing certain things on your own to the point where, even hotels charge you more when you book a room as an individual and while that may be more down to economics, it reinforces an idea that doing anything ‘alone’ is supposed to be an anomaly.
Growing Up
When I was younger it was actually easier to move through the world alone. It was unquestioned as no one naturally expected that I should have a gaggle of friends around me at all times.
At other times, I was in the presence of an adult carer, so it never occurred to me how important the world deemed it to see me in the company of others.
But once you start to mature, being alone becomes a liability, in fact as a teenager I was expected to have a friend group beyond school that I could ‘hang out with’.
Growing up in a household where I was an only child ran counter to this idea though. I learned how to entertain myself with reading, playing, talking with my Mom and once I discovered TV, it was all over, I didn’t need another soul.
That said, while I do have some anxiety moving through some spaces and places alone, for the most part I’m fine with doing certain things by myself without feeling like something is wrong with me.
Being an introvert can be a good or bad thing in this regard but that’s another story.
How quaint…
I get tickled when people muse about things they are ‘afraid’ to do alone because I feel like we are denying ourselves an experience, simply because someone else is not there, as if by ourselves, we are not enough (did that go too deep?).
In general I never want to feel like I am at the mercy of someone else’s interest level, schedule or budget to go somewhere. When I want to go somewhere, why should I let another person’s unavailability or situation prevent me?
Found myself getting caught in that trap too often before I started to ‘man up’ up and just go to places I really wanted to, alone.
Want to go see that movie? – GO
Feel like checking out that bar to have a drink but have no one to go with? – GO
Feel like spending the day at the beach? – GO
Doing it alone, even once doesn’t mean that you are an outcast, or even worse, that something is wrong with you.
I think the biggest thing to get over, was the fear of how other people would regard me being alone in a space where I am surrounded by couples or even groups. The big thing I’ve discovered? For the most part people don’t care and in fact, they’re not paying any attention to me.
No Problem
There can be a lot of anxiety and while I’m not calling myself a hero, it does take some bravery to step out on your own and just be, without worrying about being alone. It’s now considered a novelty, a thing to celebrate when persons do something ‘ground breaking’ by dining out alone and that’s ok (baby steps for some peeps).
It shouldn’t have to be that way but it is.
We should feel our whole, true selves spending time alone, doing whatever it is that we love, guilt free, no issues.
We are fine, we are complete, we stand alone if and whenever we choose and when we don’t feel like doing it alone, we do it with others.
Think my next big thing to conquer is going to a medium sized party on my own and seeing where that leads…
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
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