Kevin O'Bryan

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  • Five songs to NEVER play at a wedding

    Five songs to NEVER play at a wedding

    If you know me personally, you are very aware that I love a good laugh and my sense of humour is always ready to be tickled. With that preamble there should be no surprise about the context of this blog. Different fragments of this idea have been tumbling around in my head for a while, so here goes.

    I was recently, relaxing on a beach where there happened to be a wedding underway. I was in ear shot, so I could hear the ceremony begin with the familiar strains of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March.

    Once that was over I assumed that the official part of the ceremony had begun. Soon after I heard one of my favourite Stevie Wonder tunes begin to play: ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered’. I thought to myself, that’s as appropriate a song as any for the DJ to play at that exact moment.

    And after hearing that it occurred to me, suppose the DJ had chosen to play the wrong song(s) on this very special occasion?

    A wedding is such a precious memory for the happy couple but you best believe that there are a few things that can ruin it – drunken guests, exes, quarreling family members and most importantly, questionable  musical selections.

    I have jokingly considered some of the most inappropriate songs to be either played by a DJ, dedicated or used as a toast by a guest or generally be heard anywhere near a wedding ceremony. So in no particular order, here are my top 5 worst songs to play at a wedding and some alternatives, because hey, I got your back #nojoke. Be guided and thank me later.

    Wedding No No: As We Lay – Kelly Price

    I love this song!  Kelly Price’s remake of this Shirley Murdoch original was a new classic when she covered it in 2000. Beautiful arrangement and singing cannot however hide the fact that this song is about a woman pining over another woman’s husband, with whom she has previously spent the night with.

    It’s worth mentioning that a few years ago, Kelly was invited to an event organised by a church to perform some of her hits. However, due to a timing issue her performance was pushed up too close to the beginning of the church’s main convention event. Let’s just say, it made headlines, and they weren’t pretty. What’s even worse, As we Lay was one of the songs that she performed. It sounds good and could probably be perfect for an intimate dance, but not at a wedding, unless you are really trying to be super MESSY.  Save yourself the embarrassment or bruises and go with my suggested alternative: Why I Love You by MAJOR.

    Wedding No No: If Walls Could Talk – Celine Dion

    I remember the first time I encountered this song. It was in 1999 when Celine released her ‘All the Way’ album. I love it for a number of reasons such as the fact that it was produced by Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange, ex-husband of Shania Twain plus, Shania did some of the backup on the track.

    The song is sensual, perfectly arranged and sets the tone for so much romance. So no wonder it is a popular tune at strip joints and go-go clubs in Jamaica, which is funny because it was never a single, so DJs at these clubs must’ve really loved it, thus solidifying its popularity. All that being said, let’s lower the temperature at the wedding a tad bit and leave this off the playlist, at least, during the early part of the reception. Keep it safe and accessible and suggest the DJ play another Celine fave: Because you Loved me.

    Wedding No No: Ordinary People – John Legend

    Alright, weddings are deep and emotionally, they rank pretty high as life events. But is the ceremony the place to dig up all that ‘real’ drama? It is supposed to be a fantasy that will  make not only an indelible impression on guests, but give the married couple something wonderful to remember for years to come (hopefully). That said, reminding that they are ordinary people “who just need to take it slow” is NOT goals’.  Cut to the chase and make an appropriate dedication with John’s other tune: All of me. 

    I know I’m not the only one – Sam Smith

    So, my admission, I loved Sam Smith’s first album and the songs he wrote and performed so ably during that era. However, his repertoire leaves much to be desired when it comes to visions of matrimonial bliss.  Here-to-fore, it would be highly inappropriate for anyone attending a wedding or otherwise involved to either perform or dedicate this song to the happy couple. I don’t care if you love it. Sadly, it’s slim pickings from Sam, because he hasn’t quite mastered presenting stable relationships in his music just yet. That said, if you must have a Sam Smith song played, choose: Latch (Acoustic). 

     

    Ready For Love – India Arie

    India Arie has a song for every mood. For the generation who may have missed her emergence and glory days, do a youtube search for “Strength, Courage and Wisdom” (you’re welcome). She has a number of ballads and has always been able to capture some of those vulnerable aspects of relationships and love that, otherwise don’t get featured in popular music (Just check this tune).

    Now, Ready for Love would seem like a perfect complement to any wedding, however check the lyrics and you’ll realize that it speaks to a place on the journey of love that the newlyweds should be past. I would hope that I am more than ready for love on my wedding day, but maybe that’s just me. She has a beautiful alternative in this song: Can I walk with you. 

    Tell me some of your wedding song no-no’s and must haves in the comments section!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Know Thyself

    Know Thyself

    Sometime ago I was at home, having a mind muse when the thought “Know Thyself” popped into my mind. It was like fate inserted that timely reminder into my psyche to get me gathered.

    Of course, as musings go, I tweeted it out and it connected with a number of people.

    It seems we are always being reminded by life to know who we are, for ourselves. It is important and vital.

    Every day we go about our lives and typically we are in constant contact with other members of our communities – work, school, gym, family, etc.

    But what I’ve realized is that people are always trying to decide who we are, based on their perception and just how they experience us each day. It can be tempting to accept and even feel comfortable with these distinctions. Who doesn’t want to be considered ‘Lit’?

    Knowing who you are, fo’ real isn’t just something nice to say, it is a conscious examination of every facet that defines us and our actions.

    I Know Me

    I am an introvert.

    For a time, I felt comfortable saying that I was shy, but shyness didn’t fully account for some aspects of my personality, that went beyond how I felt around people.  It was more all encompassing and definitive.

    Shyness, people can get over, but I was different. I recognised that it took more out of me to attempt to make friends or even get to know people. To this day that’s still an issue, which has decreased over time, but is still evident.

    thyself

    Sadly, many people misconstrue my introversion for other things… dislike, disgust, disdain, aloofness even – when really I may just be too distracted trying to keep my ‘ish’ together.

    Nevertheless, I make no excuses.

    “There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.” ― Tennessee Williams.I know myself and therefore I am unbothered by how people respond to that aspect of my personality; I know, I usually don’t mean people ill will, and therefore I try not to beat myself up about it.

    I’m a communicator, by profession.

    And while I acknowledge the irony of this, being able to compartmentalise aspects of my personality helps.

    The ebullient Communications professional asks all the questions, speaks into the microphone but someone who is also quiet and appreciates alone time.

    Standing my ground

    As I have matured and grown older, it has become easier for me to stand my ground and remain unbothered about other people’s issues with my idiosyncrasies. After almost four decades of refining and being truly honest with myself, it is safe to say, I don’t give a damn.

    But standing my ground also comes at a cost.

    There is the clear and present danger of me being misunderstood and misinterpreted by some folks. Most recently I have learned the value of truly standing in my truth and letting that do the talking.

    That includes accepting certain personal shortcomings and fully understanding that I am imperfect and a work in progress.

    Just Be

    It is because I am so aware of who I am, why I firmly reject labels which seek to oversimplify, and dilute the true essence of who I am.  I am more than what someone can throw at me in a phrase that seeks to define me.

    There is a joy that comes with knowing that you never owe another soul an explanation for who you are and the important choices you make.

    In knowing and fully acknowledging who I am, I have been able to come to terms with so many things that have occurred in my life over the past few years. The good that manifested from hard work and perseverance and the bad that was unearthed when the life decided to show me what was lurking under the surface.

    Probably the best part about knowing who I am is the fact that it makes any decision to change, that much easier. As I outlined in this post in June change is what keeps me driven and excited about life. I’m still learning, growing and changing. Some will like it, some won’t.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Seven ways to improve your email etiquette at work

    Seven ways to improve your email etiquette at work

     

    Email writing etiquette in the professional environment is very important. It could mean the difference between making a lifelong work friend or making an enemy forever that could realistically, lead to your dismissal. Many people completely misconstrue the purpose of emails that are sent in the corporate setting and I believe this causes confusion.

    Growing up I remember specifically when I was in primary school or maybe High School I went through different classes where I was taught how to write a business letter and one of the most significant things I can recall is that a business letter is always to the point and completely factual. No overly saccharine greetings and pleasantries necessary, you just get to the point and say what you needed to say.

    However it seems that nowadays there is no middle ground between being polite and businesslike on one end of the spectrum and being completely rude on the other.

    It’s as if it is less about business and more about personalities.

    So, if I write an email that is to the point I’m considered rude, without even trying. I am not saying that writing an email for work has to be cold and austere however there should be a clear balance between cordial and informative, after all, that is the point, right?

    All that said, I want to share with you all some pointers on how not to rattle the apple cart at work, when it comes to communicating via email.

    Don’t Take it personal (all the time)

    One of the things that I definitely think I may need to tell myself is not to read too much into what people write in work emails.  Why? Because sometimes the writers are completely oblivious to the fact that the way they have expressed themselves in an email is rude and condescending.

     

     

    These are usually the worst offenders because they are also the most confident. That said, it doesn’t mean that you should not call people out on their bad emails, especially if there is a pattern. Just because there are people who do not know that their method is flawed, doesn’t mean there aren’t those who deliberately write and share problematic messages. Know the difference and respond accordingly.

     

    Miss me with the ‘Kindly’

    Adding kindly to an email does not make it kinder, more pleasant or friendly!

    I remember years ago reading an eye opening tip from my respected colleague and friend, Marie Berbick, about using the word kindly and the fact that it can be misconstrued as being rude and condescending and ever since I’ve been sensitive about using the word. In fact I judge people who use kindly as much as, if not more than I judge persons who have a weak handshake (don’t judge me).

     

    Try not to use the word kindly in fact you don’t need to use it at all in your email. When making a request, adding ‘kindly’ won’t actually make it easier to swallow. Sadly, most people when sending requests for action, add the word, not realizing how demanding they appear, instead of nice as they intended.

    Bad idea: ‘As per my last email…’

    The famous ‘as per my last email’ is not only unnecessary but it’s very aggressive. Now I understand if you’re writing to a lender, someone who owes you money or even someone who is holding up your business and stressing you out but is it really necessary for an email to a colleague?

     

    The milder version of this, ‘as per our discussion’ is a bit more palatable because it is actually factual. It acknowledges that “a discussion was had and we’re just bringing it to the email world”  thereby providing context and there’s an understanding that we are communicating on this subject. Somehow it feels a bit less agreesive than ‘as per my last email’, for some reason.

    But reminding me that you had sent an email previously is not absolutely necessary, and for the most part is an aggravation.

    Cc me Not!

    In many work environments it is considered the highest form of aggression when you copy not only a person’s manager but every other person in their department on an email. Why? because you are saying “hey I’m escalating this but I still want you to be a part of it” or “I’m trying to shame you because this is my opportunity to show you up.”

     

    Now, it is sometimes necessary to copy additional people on an email, but must it be done in an attempt to speed up a process? Does it usually work?  It can be an effective ‘tool’ but you must know when and how to use it in getting your job done.

    The ‘Reply All’ Queens

    This one personally ticks me off all the time and it goes beyond the professional world. Imagine, there are 30 people who have been copied on an email. The message doesn’t require every member of the group to respond to confirm anything it really was just an FYI. However there is always that one person who chooses to respond with something like “thank you” or “noted” and not only do they respond like that to the person who sent it they ‘reply all’. The ‘reply all’ button is your enemy use it sparingly, if ever.

    (Don’t) Call Me

    Unless it’s an extremely important emergency, then calling me to confirm that I received your email is not absolutely necessary or cute.  It’s actually super annoying and there is a level of control that you’re trying exert over me because you expect that your email deserves immediate attention. I mean, of course I have nothing else to do so why wouldn’t I just action your request a few seconds after you sent your email?

     

    Many of the issues around email etiquette can be solved with one simple solution: READING!
    The reality is many of us don’t actually read and comprehend the messages that we receive and therefore we don’t adequately equip ourselves to properly respond. It’s not easy because not everyone is confident in expressing themselves in writing, but it comes with the territory.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Change Everything!

    Change Everything!

    I’ve been absent but not missing.

    What started out as a one month blogging break eventually turned into a two month sabbatical.

    The break became necessary as I used the time to manage some monumental changes in my life.

    By far the biggest change that took place over the past two months was planning and implementing my move from one living space to another. Leaving the nest is a big deal because it is a meticulous gathering of your entire physical life from one space to the next and it is equal parts emotional and tiring as you strive to jump from one rock to another, while carrying a bunch of stuff you have acquired along the way.

    The whole experience paired with some other observations, have given me an opportunity to focus on change and why it is so vital for myself and all of us to accept.

    I often hear the statement: “The only constant thing in life is change” but right now, I could wax poetic for hours about change and all the wonders of newness!

    “The only constant thing in life is change”

    Change is the fertilizer that keeps me growing and every time I get an opportunity to evolve I take it.

     

    I have always been willing to accept change, because many times in my life, I had no choice but being willing to accept and acclimatize to change, always meant looking for that silver lining.

    There are many people who perceive me to be happy-go-lucky, positive and optimistic, and for the most part, their perception is correct, however that attitude is grounded in my willingness to always deal with changes as they come.

    People are People

    By far the most challenging changes I usually have to deal with is the shifting sands of loyalty from some of those closest to me, whether friends or family. It is always difficult when the actions of some people in your life cause you to take a closer look at them and how they fit into your life.

    Where most people seem to have a problem is when they have to make a decision to change course in a relationship, because culturally some of us have been taught to hold on until something detrimental happens that proves that the worse has occurred.

    I have adopted a simple principle when it comes to dealing with changes in the nature of my relationships. This includes anything that changes my perception of said relationship and the person – “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”

    “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Oprah Winfrey

    This mantra has allowed me to really see the people who are part of my life, and acknowledge them accordingly. Sometimes, what I considered “change” was not in fact a shift in behaviour, just another opportunity to really see a person as they are.

    I am always thankful for those opportunities and whenever, upon reflection I ponder on why or how someone changed, I always seek to discover what was always right before my eyes.

    Roll, Roll, Roll

    Changes come into our lives in many shapes and forms and are often unexpected. Unplanned changes appear most daunting because the possible outcomes are always in the shadows.

    For example, changing jobs years ago was a joy, because of the possibilities that awaited me, plus an improved salary offer. But the unknown element did more than just scare me, it served to inspire me to not only give my all and really savour the opportunity to learn something completely new.

    From that experience, I’ve learned that the inverse of my fear and anxiety regarding a challenge will be excitement, satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment. It can be no other way! Why go through a challenge and not come out triumphant on the other side?

    Change is Good

    Finally, there comes a time when change becomes necessary, because it takes us to the next phase. It’s impossible to get to that unknown place, without accepting and adapting.

    I know many people who are afraid of change because it makes them uncomfortable and disoriented. But in many ways, discomfort usually means that a change is taking place, that more often than not, will be to your benefit.

    Discomfort is often a prelude to growth and that’s important to all of us, but whatever the change, whatever the challenge, just Keep Moving Forward!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda

    Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda

    On March 25, 2018, Linda Brown, the school girl who was at the centre of the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that resulted in the desegregation of American Public Schools in 1954, died.

    Her death was notable because the case that brought her to prominence changed the course of history and was one of many that changed the lives of people of colour in the United States.

    The often referenced case ‘Brown vs. Board of Education’ challenged segregation rules which prevented young Linda from enrolling into a then, all white school, which was close to her home. The alternative was for her to be shuttled miles away, to a ‘black school’ across town in her home state of Kansas.

    Fast forward to 2018, racial tensions are at an all time high in the United States and around the world, various minority populations are seeking their own avenues, to have their fundamental rights addressed and acknowledged.

    This brings me home to Jamaica where some citizens are being denied rights and protections that are taken for granted by the masses. Specifically, vulnerable LGBT Jamaicans, who have to negotiate the systems that are meant to serve all citizens, with much more trepidation and potential barriers.

    Depending on where you are situated in Jamaican society, the narrative around LGBT people may have been presented to you as such:

    “The Gay Lobby”, “Overseas Gay Groups” or the ever popular “The Gay Agenda”

    All are terms used to describe the seemingly invisible, invasive and otherworldly presence of people of differing identities, who are and have been part of our society from time immemorial. These terms speak specifically to the perceptible voice and visibility which bucks convention by simply existing to challenge status quo.

    ‘The Gay Agenda’

    That J-FLAG, the human rights and social justice organisation advocating for the rights of LGBT Jamaicans, launched a manifesto in February, is telling. Entitled The Gay Agenda, it is immediately provocative, in name only, and may lead some to ponder the content of such a document.

    In reclaiming a slur which has been used to demonise a segment of Jamaican society, the real conversation can now begin, in demystifying the real “agenda” of advocates, allies and the many people and organisations that are working with and in support of creating a better Jamaica, for all our citizens.

    rights

    The 34 page manifesto seeks to present the LGBT voice on issues of National importance. It is not an ‘evil plan’ bent on destroying families and communities but instead should be juxtaposed with the Vision 2030 National Development plan which seeks to make “Jamaica, the place of choice to live, work, raise families and do business.”

    What may surprise many who take the chance to review the document is that a repeal of the buggery law is not at the centre of this manifesto. As was outlined in this letter to the editor of the Gleaner, ten years ago, there are other shackles that bind the lives of LGBT Jamaicans.

    rights

    The “agenda”, seeks to make clear what these are and articulate a clear vision for how they can be manifested.

    For me, some of the more intriguing aspects were found in the segments addressing Health, Education, Housing & Social Security and Employment. I’ve pulled out two areas from each that I feel were particularly revelatory. These are areas that have been deemed key to engendering a better way of life for LGBT Jamaicans, when they are addressed.

    Health

    Stigma and discrimination faced by the LGBT population when accessing healthcare is eradicated.

    Trans healthcare is integrated into medical education.

    Education

    Homophobic and transphobic bullying will be explicitly banned and punished.

    Gender norms and harmful gender stereotypes are addressed at the secondary level.

    Housing and Social Security

    The social protection strategy is revised to look at the vulnerability of minority groups including LGBT Jamaicans.

    Amendment to the rent restriction act to outlaw evictions based on tenants sexual orientation or gender identity.

    Employment

    There are laws which prevent all forms of discriminatory treatment in hiring, firing and promoting.

    Men and women receive equal pay for equal work.

    This snapshot is by no means exhaustive, as the document covers a number of other areas in even more categories, including many that are not specific to LGBT Jamaicans only.

    rights

    In February last year, Gleaner columnist, Annie Paul satirised some of the furore surrounding the much feared and vilified ‘Gay Agenda’.

    With said agenda now available here for consumption, a new light can be shed on the vision for Jamaica, held by LGBT citizens.

    Equal Rights

    When the Brown vs Board of Education case ended in 1954, the Supreme Court of the U.S. struck down the doctrine of “separate but equal” as unconstitutional because it denied guarantees of equal protection under the law.

    It is clear that much is unequal in Jamaica today, but every step forward, can help to change this.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Figuring Out Finances – Part 2

    Figuring Out Finances – Part 2

    It’s been said that money makes the world go round, but mis-use of it can bring your entire world crashing down.

    Case in point, online shopping is so super convenient but left unchecked, it can create a permanent hole in your pocket and your financial future.

    Money pitfalls will happen and recovering is not impossible but it takes discipline and sacrifice. In this second part to my look at figuring out finances, I speak specifically about debt and some ways I have dealt with it in the past.

    Usual Disclaimer: I am NOT a financial advisor, not even close. In addition, I’m sure you may’ve have read some of these tips somewhere else, however, whatever I have added here is based on my own tried and tested experience.

     

    Pay off high interest debt first

    debt

    This piece of advice is standard fare on any personal finance blog worth its mettle and it’s GOOD!

    Things we consider bad debt – Credit cards, the hire purchase agreement for the sofa that was too good to miss, the high interest personal loan that you took out because you needed that ‘thing’- all are considered bad debt. They are bad because they are usually attained for items that are not gaining value and have ridiculous interest rates and repayment terms.

    So if you have three pieces of debt lined up, your car loan, credit card debt, and a personal loan from your employer at a sweet rate of about 5 %, which of the three would you put major priority in getting rid of first?

    The answer is obvious… Credit Card! Not only is that bad debt but depending on the interest rate and the amount owed, you could be adding an astronomical amount of money to the  existing debt each month in the form of interest payments. Get rid of it by paying more than the minimum balance and most importantly, STOP adding to the debt.

     

    Refinance your student loan

    Many years ago, I was blessed with a loan from the Student’s Loan Bureau (SLB). It was an important means to an end and I was thankful. I thought they were a bit unreasonable at times, but the alternative – loan from a bank – was not an option. Personal loans weren’t being thrown at you then, as they are nowadays.

    After receiving my loan and finishing college, I now had to start the process of repaying it and I had known this from the get go. When I got my first job, I was about 5 months over the grace period that the SLB provides after graduation. I recall making a momentous first payment. It was then that I realized that I had already accrued some late fees.

    Well for some reason – youthful exuberance maybe – I completely missed out on making any more payments for almost a year. Life got in the way, I guess. Anyway, after a very scary call from an SLB representative, I got my act together and I agreed to salary deductions. However because of my malfeasance, there was still those pesky late fees plus arrears on my loan. It seems like a pit that I couldn’t dig myself out of, until someone I knew who had insight into the operations of the organisation, suggested to me that I should get my loan refinanced.

    Refinancing basics

    Basically, refinancing is an option where they recalculate your entire loan, missed payments and late fees included as well as all principal and interest that you would’ve had to pay, into a new total.

    You would then sign a new agreement with the SLB, along with your guarantors to make this recalculated payment, via salary deduction.  That saved my financial life and set me on a track to paying off my SLB, which I did in 2010.

    I recall asking my loans officer at the time, why they didn’t tell us that we could have our loans refinanced and he replied “because we would be doing that all day.” #TheMoreYouKnow

    Shop for cost not just preference

    debt

    If you are planning to buy a car, what do you look at first?

    Your favourite car or the vehicle that fits within the budget you have set aside for a car?

    Rule of thumb is to look at the one that fits within your car budget not just your dream car, especially if you will have to borrow a substantial amount to get it. I know that many people say that it’s ok to purchase a car as long as you can afford the monthly payment.

    But being able to ‘afford’ the monthly payment is relative, especially if this affordability is looked at in isolation. What of the cost of tires, servicing every 5000 km, GAS? Breathing room is good, especially if you’re not paid to drive – as a travelling officer. Apply this to most other things, but particularly big ticket items.

    Save something

    I think we get so caught up in the conversation about interest rates and making your money work for you that we forget the simple power and purpose of saving, period.

     

    Interest rates are a bonus for an activity that will hopefully help you achieve a longer term goal.

    The concept of saving is simple… spend way less, than you retain. That retention will help you in many other ways, just don’t touch that money.

    I know a good interest rate is ideal but I also know that keeping more of my money than I spend is even more important and beneficial. So make a decision about your income, whatever the amount and save some of it.

    Invest when you’re ready

    Once you have saved up some money, consider levelling up and start to invest. It is not just for ‘rich’ people either, as some of us have been led to believe.

    Now is the best time ever to invest on the Jamaica stock exchange, and the recent surge in Initial Public Offerings (IPOs) has created the perfect opportunity for new investors to get their feet wet.

    Randy Rowe over at Every Mickle has some great insights and resources on investing. This article is a good way to dive in as it sets you up with some of the fundamentals of how to get started in investing in Jamaica.

    I only wish that an investment app like Acorns, which is based in the US can become a reality in Jamaica soon and make investing even easier.

    There ends my literal two cents. I just hope that if there is anything that can help you be better, it will stick. If you missed part 1 of this article, read it here

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Figuring out Finances – Part 1

    Figuring out Finances – Part 1

    I have had a very complicated relationship with money my entire life. As an adult that relationship has gone through 3 stages – Awareness, Humility and Strategic.

    I became aware of the power of money as a child when I realized that some of us had more than others and could therefore do more. As I grew up this idea of the haves and the ‘have nots’ just became clearer. When I came of age and started earning, I was immediately thrust into debt with my student loans and had to learn pretty early how to weigh financial commitments with everything else.

    The humility came when I realized the powerful hold debt can have on us mentally, especially when we’re overwhelmed by it. It is quite easy to fall into debt and sometimes the reasons for doing so are frivolous. It is quite easy to fall into debt and sometimes the reasons for doing so are frivolous.

    I’ve learnt to be more strategic with not just how I spend and prioritize money, but also with how I deal with debt. Debt and how to deal with it has seemingly become a defining part of my adulthood as well.

    Along the way, I’ve learned some valuable lessons and figured out some good ways to simply make my financial journey, better and I’m going to share some with you.
    Disclaimer: I am NOT a financial advisor, not even close. In addition, I’m sure you may’ve have read some of these tips somewhere else, however, whatever I have added here is based on my own tried and tested experience.

    Find Novel Ways to Save Money

    Many years ago, a friend of mine told me that he doesn’t re-spend coins – Jamaican 5, 10 and 20 dollars. Up until that point, I adopted a similar principle but my coin denominations were much lower – Jamaican $1, 10 and 25 cent coins. After that revelation I started doing the same with my larger coins and for a time, I would cash up to $10,000 worth of coins at the end of the year.

    A recent tweet gave me pause and an opportunity to once again, level up.

    Imani is saving $50 dollar bills. So I’ve already started and I’ll go as far as it takes me. These interesting personal challenges allow us to not only test our resolve to stick to something that’s good for us, but help us to automatically save money. I’m not saying this is for everyone. But if you can manage to keep those $50 bills to yourself, do it and see the lump sum you’ll have at the end of the year.

    Always shop around for lower interest rates on loans

    Sounds easy and it is.

    If you are in a borrowing relationship with a financial institution, always check around for better rates – so whether you have a credit card, auto loan, personal loan – don’t neglect this. In fact, you may have loan options underneath your nose, via your employer, through loan sales or special product offers from financial companies. The goal is always to seek lower rates if you borrow.

    Don’t fear credit cards

    They are not your enemies.

    I jumped into a credit card over a decade ago and I’ve never looked back. I remember when I had just applied I was told that I was making a mistake by getting one. But looking back I am thankful that I learned the hard lessons about using this tool early, so that now, I am able to make more calculated decisions about it. What’s even more fantastic now is the variety of cards that are available.

    A while back I transitioned from having just a simple credit card, to having one that gave me a benefit. No longer would my debt just be debt, I would be rewarded for it as well! LOL. Even better, my interest rate went down.

    But in all seriousness, if you want to get a credit card, plan to take the risks with it that you can afford and read all the fine print. Also, if your provider offers, always take the credit card insurance. You only pay insurance on what you owe.

    Know your cut off dates, payment and billing dates, Annual Percentage Rate (APR), annual fees, if any and all conditions surrounding the use of your card.

    Finally, don’t ever let a credit card provider fool you into taking a credit card with a higher interest rate, regardless of the ‘benefits’ or lack of annual fees.

    They may tell you this “The interest rate doesn’t matter if you pay it off every month” but suppose you choose not to pay it off at the end of a month? Wouldn’t you rather be charged the lowest possible interest rate than a higher one? Think about it.

    Save in foreign currency

    This is just something that has worked for me depending on the type of account I’m using, for a number of reasons:

    Firstly, having a foreign currency account, specifically a US$ product, has proven beneficial because with diligent saving, I always have foreign currency on hand when I need it for travel or particular expenses.

    For medium or long term accounts, especially fixed deposit type products, I have found that over time, it’s better to save in a foreign currency because I get better value on my saving. This is even better if the interest rate isn’t that attractive, you’re able to add value to your savings based on fluctuations in the currency trading markets.

    Buy in Bulk

    I live by a simple rule: Never run out of toilet paper at home! I don’t care where you choose to buy it in bulk, just do it. Buy a year’s supply or 6 months supply just always have toilet paper stocked up.

    But this is about more than just toilet paper. I just find it so much more convenient and cost effective to get certain supplies in bulk instead of making purchases month to month. My suggestion on approaching this is to buy basic items in bulk and include more products as you continue to manage your usage. It saves you money and works out in the end.

    There are some more ideas that I will share in my next update, but until then, I hope these are helpful.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Pushing Through

    Pushing Through

    The first two months of 2018 have been quite interesting for me as I’ve been hit with a case of fatigue and lethargy which are both exacerbated by a bad case of insomnia.

    Two very important things have become critical to ensuring that I don’t self-sabotage and just say – SCREW IT to all the goals I’ve set for 2018.

    I’ve sought out small victories to help propel me onward to try and achieve the other larger goals that I have. For example, 2018 is my declared year of Reading, but imagine my quandary with the fact that it’s almost the end of February and I’ve completed only one book so far. Finishing that book was such a vindication, and prevented me from otherwise beating myself up. I’m in the middle of two others though, so that counts as progress. I press on.

    The other saving grace has been the recognition that the difficult moments are no time to slack off. There have been days I feel like just can’t bother to do anything but the mundane – work, home, sleep – repeat. But then I realize that pushing through is what it’s all about.

    I usually begin a 5k or 10k race wondering “what have I gotten myself into?” and I often ask myself the question “Can I finish this race?” Not only do I usually finish, but I feel good while doing so, proving to myself time and time again that the joy is in the journey, trials and all.

    Now that I’ve set the stage and you have a better idea of where I am, let’s talk a bit about Lent.

    Things we Give Up

    I never pay the custom any mind, because the point of making a sacrifice never quite made sense to me. However from a purely self-serving point-of-view I could see how making a deliberate effort to form a new habit, or destroy a bad one, can work in my favour.

    Well, this year, I took a few moments on Ash Wednesday and decided to give up something for Lent – Online Shopping!

    I hate to think that I am addicted to anything, but in reality my mind is always convinced that everything that I ever purchase online, I absolutely need. No matter how small or inconsequential, I need(ed) it. And the thing is I abhor hoarding so always buying stuff, that I probably don’t need is just not something I can cope with.

    I have forty days to free myself of online shopping and all the triggers that get me to do it. For example, I recall being in line at a restaurant waiting for my food and I just happened to be on my phone, browsing the amazon app. While browsing I came upon a shoe that I had been watching for a quick minute and decided to buy it, because – great price.

    It’s literally that easy, takes not time and is right at the click of a button.

    The only exception is the payment for road races that I may choose to run over the period, and that will only be if I can’t pay for them in another way.

    This is my confession and this is how I’m handling it. It’s been just over two weeks and I haven’t cracked though temptations abound.  I follow blogs and retailers that constantly send me emails reminding that sales are on, or open my eyes to new products, but I must resist, resist, resist.  Online shopping isn’t a bad thing but the disconnect that it causes between want, need and cost is.

    Every day I overcome the temptation to buy something online, is yet another victory for me to feel that much better about myself, and keeps me pushing on to the next goal.

    What’s helping you to push through? Let me know in the comments.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Let’s Talk About Love

    Let’s Talk About Love

    Recently, I lost my cousin to cancer. It was a first in my family, for us to lose someone who was part of my generation. Her name was Keisha and she was like a big sister who I spent summers with, in Manchester ever year from about 1987 until I was in my teens.

    I’m still processing the fact that she’s not here.

    But something has occurred to me.

    Even if she was alive and our ‘busy’ lives prevented us from seeing each other often or even talking, I would much rather that, than knowing she is no longer with us.

    I really want to talk about Love and I know Valentine’s day has sprung up and the marketing wizards are shoving romance into our faces, but I’m acknowledging that it’s more than just romance.

    Valentines hasn’t meant anything to me in years. Romance is so wonderful, something that I miss but not desperate for at the moment.

    I am truly happy for people who have found that special someone and have built and continue to maintain a relationship that feeds their souls. That’s such an important part of our journey through this life. As I grow older, I come to realize just how important it is.

    But every time I lose a member of my family and my history, it gives me pause to reflect upon how I love and who I love.

    Love beyond family has never been easy for me.

    I’m always trying to figure out where I stand with people and attempting to understand everything about the emotions and feelings that I have come to associate with love.

    LOVE D.I.Y.

    Love

    Some years ago, I went through, what I thought at the time was the most unimaginable hurt, the end of a relationship.

    The details of the whole situation were bad enough but the worst part was the feeling that I was going to come undone because of what I felt. It took everything in me, and time to realize that I could get over. I came through all of that knowing a few very important things about myself. One, I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for and two, the greatest battle that I ever have to win, is discovering how to truly love myself.

    And that’s been the greatest lesson of all, one that I have to keep learning, re-learning and acknowledging every day.  Today I am the better for it and I love the idea of love and being in Love.

    It has actually brought me to an even more important conclusion, about all this love that we have to give throughout our lives.

    We have the romantic love we share with that special someone, but the friends in our lives are the ones who will probably be the most consistent beneficiaries of our love, test subjects even.

    The friendships we build teach us how to love, and they give us an opportunity to show love, where the main bond is an appreciation for and acceptance of the other person’s existence.

    But like all relationships, it helps when we have a clear fix on who we are first and not only accept ourselves, but LOVE every bit of who we see looking back at us in the mirror.

    Rupaul says it best “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

    Let LOVE be your guide!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • People we should leave behind in January 2018

    People we should leave behind in January 2018

    We have a way of mistitling and misrepresenting the people in our lives. We mistakenly call some ‘friends’, ‘day ones’, ‘girlfriend’, ‘boyfriend’, ‘Bae’ – all in the name of placement and proximity.

    The truth is, over time, we pay dearly for these mistakes because every person in your life comes at a cost. The cost however is relative to how much of yourself you’re willing to put on the line for these people.

    So as we end the first month of 2018, I felt it was valuable to take a moment to identify and call out some of the characters that float through my life, and probably yours.

    Let’s declare it. We are leaving the whole lot of them in January 2018, where they belong! Let the year officially begin.

    The Liars

    Diana King has a famous song titled L-L-Lies which describes a lover who continues to lie through his teeth, despite the fact that he was caught practically red handed, cheating. The liar in your life is like that and even worse, because they are prone to lying to you about things that don’t even concern you.

    When someone close enough to you chooses to lie about their actions or things going on in their lives, it’s time to bid them farewell. The worst lies are stupid lies, told by even stupid(er) people. Leave that in 2017.

    The Time Vampires

    We are all trying to be progressive because life is about moving forward and levelling up. In 2018, many opportunities abound for us to level up and create the life that we deserve. In order to do that, we must harness our most valuable resource, strategically and efficiently.

    Time Vampires, are always up to hang and be idle, but never for anything productive or uplifting. They come in various forms too, such as that person you’ve been ‘kinda seeing’ but to date you’re unable to define what it is y’all have exactly – That’s time vampire behaviour!

    Don’t be anyone’s time piece! They are consuming your time at their convenience while you rationalise and call it complicated. Get real!

    The Perpetually Sorry

    If there is anyone in your life who has reason to be telling you ‘sorry’ alot, bid them farewell! Sorry is not a password for continued malfeasance and it usually outlives its usefulness after the fourth or fifth time being used to excuse the same action.

    Unfortunately, there are many people who believe that sorry is a cure-all that makes everything ok. It is not and you should not have to accept it.

    It becomes quite ridiculous when someone repeatedly finds them self in a position to be apologising, so much so that sorry becomes the word you most often associate with them. Let them keep the apologies and leave them and their bad ways in January 2018.

    The Borrowers

    Mendicancy is such a terribly unattractive quality. Too bad many of us have not grown immune to the power of those who are always begging/borrowing.

    You have plans for your life, you have a budget, you make sacrifices… yet this person always seems to be moving in the completely opposite direction in terms of values. So it comes like nothing for them to borrow from you. Good hearted as you are, you lend, freely. Then comes time for you to be repaid… there are a multiplicity of issues that surround you getting back your money. There’s drama. You vow never again. You forget. Then the borrower returns.

    Let’s leave these awful borrowing experiences in January 2018. The disrespect and misfortune that you experienced before should be left in the past. Make a pledge to give the gift of a NO more often and save yourself the trouble.

    The Ignorers

    It’s time to take back your attention. At this moment, there are people you are giving your energy and time to, and they have chosen to ignore you.

    Let go.

    Let’s focus on the real people, the ones who are present and who care for who you are. Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept the apology and explanation that you never received.

    There were a few more personas that I wanted to call out, but I feel that they would be pretty obvious. January was a good test run, it’s now time to really get the year started. Clear your space and your head because 2018 is officially open for business.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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