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  • Digital Declutter: How to cleanup your email inbox for good!

    Digital Declutter: How to cleanup your email inbox for good!

     We are at the start of a new year and it’s as good a time as any to declutter different areas of our lives. For the month of January, I will be sharing a few insights on how we can all refresh our outlooks and spaces. I will begin this process with a digital decluttering exercise for email.

     

    cleanup mail

    Do you dread opening your primary email app because of the amount of unread messages that are there? Have you simply turned off your notifications because you’ve lost control of all the messages that have flooded your inbox and you never got around to checking them?

                                 

    Don’t despair there’s hope and with simple proactive steps you can get your email lives under control. It is overwhelming enough dealing with work emails, so it is understandable if your personal email inbox is a mess.

    I got smart about email management a few years ago when after having my Gmail account for just over 13 years (early adopter) I realized that I was almost out of space. This surprised me for a number of reasons as one of the primary draws for Gmail back in the day was the fact that their storage was almost infinite (jokes).

    email cleanup

    One advantage I’ve had is that every time gmail added a new feature, I did my best to understand what it was, how it worked and how it could impact how I used the service. So if I realized that it worked against my typical email behaviour, I would just ignore it.

    Disclaimer, most of my specific email decluttering tips are applicable to gmail users, which may actually not matter much seeing that when gmail entered the market in 2005, most other providers gradually started to emulate its functionalities and even layout.

    And for those of you who might ask, why not just buy additional email storage space if I run out? Well if you are a power user and that’s something you want to do, go ahead. But as for me and my house, we declutter and use what we have, for free!

     

    Check notifications

    This first tip has nothing to do with your inbox at all and is one of the more proactive steps you can take in dealing with email clutter. When you join any new social network or app, first thing you should do is check the notifications settings. Most services allow you to determine the type and frequency of correspondence they send you.

    For example, Facebook allows you to send push notifications to their app or on the website itself for most things. Otherwise you can choose to only receive emails for specific things relating to your account. This also applies to other platforms like Twitter, so you can basically set it up so that you only receive important emails from these platforms that have to do with your account security and nothing else. This is convenient and prevents some of that unnecessary email clutter to begin with.

     

    Remove Email Categories

    In 2013 google introduced the promotions tab to gmail as part of a set of automatic categories that would organise incoming email into different segments/tabs. It was their attempt to help us all make our email inboxes feel a bit lighter. The automatically generated promotions and social tabs have since become a standard part of any new gmail account created and typically siphons off emails from social networks or subscription emails from mass mailers etc.

    As soon as the feature was introduced I ditched it by going into my inbox settings and removing it. I have done the same for every other gmail account I have created since. See how to remove them here.

    Why?

    Because, if important emails come in and go into these tabs, I’ll probably not take the time to click and sort through them. Secondly, I prefer to see and know what I am getting in my email all in one place. So instead of going through, basically three different inboxes, created with the use of these tabs, I simply check one. A lot less work and a more streamlined way of dealing with message organisation.

    Ditch the tabs!

    Unsubscribe from unwanted emails

    A few years ago I started to receive random emails from companies I never subscribed to. For a while it weirded me out because I honestly thought someone was deliberately adding me to different company email lists (probably). As I painstakingly unsubscribed from every new company welcoming me to their service, I also started to take a closer look at the other subscriptions that I had actually signed up for.

    When it came time to clear space I realized that while these emails may not count for much in terms of storage space, they were still clutter that added up, overtime.

    So I started looking at the pattern of company emails I was receiving to get a better sense of the volume of messages and it was shocking!

    During peak shopping seasons for example, there were companies who would send me up to two emails per day for two weeks straight.

    It was ridiculous, so those subscriptions had to go!

    I started to take an even closer look at email behaviour from companies I wanted to receive emails from and adjusted my subscriptions where possible or unsubscribed completely. Some company emails allow you to select the frequency at which you receive them such as once monthly or every now and then.

    Unsubscribe to your heart’s content and stop some of those incessant and probably unread messages. The reality is, we are constantly changing and sometimes, the need you had for subscribing to some of these services has passed and let’s be real, as much as you would want to, you are not going to go back and read through all those past emails.

    The ‘unsubscribe link’ can usually be found at the bottom of most emails you receive from companies and is a pretty standard feature. In fact, if you are regularly receiving emails from a company that does not contain an unsubscribe link, that should be cause for concern.

    Delete old messages and conversations

    This tip is a follow on to the previous about your subscriptions and also takes it a step further with how to deal with other messages.

    So you have identified emails that you want to unsubscribe from and you have gone ahead and unsubscribed, now is your chance to remove all that old stuff. A quick and easy way to get rid of these messages is to temporarily create a filter. The email filters are a neat way to choose what happens to emails when they come into your inbox and allows you to choose the specific parameters which can be either an email address, a name or specific words and/or phrases.

    Once you choose the identifier and you create the filter you then choose what happens to messages that match the criteria. Gmail provides a number of options (shown below) that you can choose which include, forwarding the messages, labelling it, sending it to categories, or deleting it.

    email cleanup

    See how to create an email filter in gmail here.

    In this case, the option would be to delete the messages. However there is an additional option that allows you to apply the filter to matching conversations that are already within your inbox. In one fell swoop, you will instantly remove years of subscription emails, instead of painstakingly going through and deleting in batches of 100 which is the maximum you would be able to manually select on the gmail desktop using search.

    When you are done, delete the filter then go into your trash and permanently remove the messages.

    An additional pro tip, make this an annual thing by routinely removing these subscription emails at the end of each year.

    Removing other Messages and Conversations

    Now using the process I just outlined you can go ahead and remove entire histories from your email inbox. So emails from those old relationships, friendships or pesky work related items that you may have sent to yourself or had sent to your email, just because? Create filters by name or email, and remove them all!

     email cleanup

    I briefly relived some very painful moments when I went through long past emails and removed entire conversations, but it was the right thing to do.

    It was also surprising the amount of space decade old chain messages took up in my mailbox.

    To get rid of these, create a filter that picks up on emails based on their size that will bring up all messages that contain attachments over a certain size and delete them instantly to free up space.

     

    Delete old sent messages

    Here’s a revelation: We are usually the ones who create the junk that we carry around. The baggage and the waste that we hang on to, was indeed, of our own making. So what can we do?

    Purge!

    Go through your sent messages and remove those emails with attachments that you sent. The sent message search box in gmail is marvelous and allows you to search emails for different periods or one set by you. In addition you can search specifically for emails with attachments and also the type of attachments.

    You would be surprised how many emails with large attachments you have sent that are clogging your inbox right now. Go through it and remove all that junk.

    Setup auto forwards

    Finally, another way to reduce and even prevent unnecessary email is by using filters to forward messages to other email accounts. I have a primary email account but I also have other email accounts that I use. There are times when based on commitments such as clubs or other activities I participate in, there’s need for large quantities of emails to be sent.

    For example, as a Toastmaster I have played various roles which often times require the use of high volumes of emails that are regularly sent. I use my main email for membership purposes but sometimes this address is also shared with local and regional Toastmasters teams.

    Instead of attempting to go through the confusion of notifying all these teams of the new email, I simply create a filter and have all emails coming from the team forwarded to a designated Toastmasters gmail account that I created separately. In addition, I also create a rule to delete all forwarded emails from my main inbox.

    Visit here to see how to automatically forward gmail messages to another account.

    Final word

    I hope this information will assist you in decluttering your email and digital life. Let me know if you find any of this useful!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • Taking Care of What Matters

    Taking Care of What Matters

    It’s taken me a while to write this blog. Since my last post in March of this year, I have drafted several others, which I never got around to publishing. The timing has just never felt right based on everything that was happening.

    And though I know that COVID and everything that the pandemic has wrought is a completely valid excuse, I’m also keeping myself accountable where it matters.

    Early on I realized that there was an underlying and unspoken anxiety that accompanied this pandemic and affected most of us, regardless of whether we actually contracted the virus or not.

    It was just the tension around all the uncertainty that the pandemic brought with it and especially the upheaval it’s caused to the lives of so many people. Being expected to function, like normal and perform at the highest level at work and in life, is not as easy as it seems.

    Awakening

    My own eye opener came just about 7 months after the beginning of this whole thing, when I started to feel generally unwell. No, I hadn’t contracted COVID but all that pent up anxiety and the lethargy it set off within me, finally caught up.

    self care

    For some people, they have been coping by exercise and generally making an effort to be more active. That however, has not been my coping strategy and instead I simply threw myself into work and tried to be as occupied as possible.

    While I remained aware of the underlying anxiety, I never fully owned up to the ripple effects it was causing in other areas of my life which mushroomed over time.

    So when I finally decided to visit my doctor and I received a blood pressure reading that was too high for comfort, I knew that something had to give. The visit also forced me to acknowledge that I had not been sleeping as well as I should. The result of all this was a cascade of small maladies that pretty much meant that I was doing myself a disservice, the opposite of self-care.

    Getting There

    I’m already taking corrective measures which includes taking proactive steps to get better quality sleep, I’ve altered my eating habits, started an exercise routine in the gym and I now make deliberate efforts to actually relax more.

    That said, I have also started to take stock of some of the other aspects of my life that I can control. There are a few things that I have become much more intolerant of during this time.

    Protecting my Peace

    Now more than ever I am fully invested in protecting my peace from people, places, emotions and things that could possibly heighten my stress levels or otherwise make me uncomfortable.

    I’m a bit more sensitive to people in my life who selfishly try to fill my well with their issues while never considering or even seeking to find out about the load I may be carrying. I am a limited resource and therefore, I will not allow others to use me up.

    Self-care is as much about eating well and relaxing as it is about ensuring that the energy that I surround myself with is just right.

    Reading has always been escapism for me, but now even more so because my mind seems to always be ON. Slowly plodding my way through books has been a respite and though sometimes television time steals some of that time, I’m recalibrating the balance needed.

    Patience all around

    Probably the greatest lesson I’ve absorbed this year, is the importance and value of being patient and gentle with myself, more tolerant even. With the world just doing its best to survive in this very weird and troubling time, it does not work in my favour to torture myself about my perceived shortcomings.

    self care

    I did a few online courses and they were helpful but this idea that I needed to use this moment to become something else, betrayed the fact that just by doing my job and so much more, during a difficult time, is in itself an accomplishment.

    I’m happy to be on the mend but the important thing about this shift is that it feels like it’s the big one that I will actually stick with.

    Pray me up.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • When Life Gives you Limes…

    When Life Gives you Limes…

    By a certain age we all eventually realize that life is a cycle of actions, reactions and consequences. It also becomes crystal clear that there will be moments when we are on top of a mountain, taking in the fresh air and enjoying the fantastic view. Other times, we’re stuck deep inside a ravine, strapped inside the badly damaged SUV we call our lives.

    It isn’t always cute or pain-free but we soldier through because, it’s worth it!

    Thankfully, through these repeated hills and valleys, high and lows, we humans have developed effective and sometimes unhealthy coping mechanisms that help us to deal with trauma and general shocks.

    Corona Time

    The world is collectively going through one of those shocks at this very moment of my writing this piece. COVID-19  is ravaging sections of the world and has caused levels of upheaval in normal, modern life, only seen during the worst natural disasters and in the previous century, during a World War.

    Through it all one of the most consistent elements of the unfolding crisis has been the flow of information from every possible source. From the constant stream of consciousness that is Twitter, to cable news channels, press conferences, and just people generally spreading misinformation and conspiracies via whatsapp (never gets old!).

    I have been particularly intrigued by the dual role authorities have to play in dealing with such a crisis. Sharing pertinent information to citizens of the country while remaining calm, and reassuring everyone that everything will be, ok?

    Crisis Best Practice

    I want to believe that every student of public relations or communications, such as myself have at least come across the seminal case of the Tylenol Poisoning spree of 1982. The unsolved case, which unfolded with the death of 7 people, saw bottles of Tylenol pain killer being laced with cyanide, placed on store shelves and sold to unsuspecting customers. In it’s aftermath, major changes were made to how over-the-counter drugs were packaged, labelled and handled.

    The case became a masterclass in best practice for Public Relations however, due to the immediacy and forthrightness of the response from the leadership of Johnson & Johnson, the parent company of the brand.

    I immediately saw the hallmarks of that case and juxtaposed them with how the current pandemic is being handled.

    Fact is some officials/countries have been doing well and others… not so much. Somewhere in the middle of it all I have been able to see how even these big decisions can be useful to my own life. When it comes to crisis management, dealing with it is no different when you are a country, a large company or a person.

    My insights…

    Be honest … the first time

     

    Your life is a mess, you are in too much debt, your relationship isn’t working out and even worse, you hate your job. One way to deal with these crises is to completely ignore them or choose to be consoled by false facts. Whatever the excuse, if it prevents you from reaching the correct conclusion about your life and circumstance, it won’t help you.

    The moment you start telling the truth about your crises to yourself (and probably your therapist) you will be closer to your breakthrough. The resolution to every major crisis begins with openness and honesty, the first time. Everything else is a non-starter. It’s also important to ensure that your stakeholder(s) are  aware of the crisis. Those closest to you, who you consider dearer than just family may be those important parts of your support system who will be there for you during that crisis. Their support and confidence can be lifesaving.

    Know the problem

     

    Struggles come in all shapes and sizes, it helps if you can identify the one that is affecting your life so that you can address it with urgency. At the level of a large organisation, it will be necessary to ascertain what the crisis is, its root cause and gather as much details as possible about its depth and ramifications. Only by fully understanding the issue, can you be able to even begin to address it.

     Think Solutions

     

    If you’re focusing on the solutions, then maybe, just maybe, you will have less attention to spare for the crisis at hand. Attention a.k.a. ‘worry’ saps your energy and is not useful. Being solution-oriented during a crisis is pivotal, especially as it helps to refocus your energies towards identifying a positive outcome.  Finding a solution to the main problem, putting it into action and arriving at a resolution in the quickest possible time can be the difference between a short term hiccup and long term, permanent damage to reputation and bottom line.

    Chaos is a Ladder

     

    It may seem rather Machiavellian, but consider this – there are people living through this troubled time in history and even now, they are finding opportunities that will serve their lives well, when it is over. In fact it was Machiavelli who said “Never waste the opportunity offered by a good crisis.”

    As scary as the crisis and emergency may be, steal yourself a moment to consider and identify new avenues for exploration. It could be directly related to the problem at hand, or another solution that emerges. At the more granular and personal level, there are  things we ignore in the normal cut and thrust of life, that we should pay more attention to, during a crisis. For example, it was during the Great Plague of London between 1665 and 1666 that Sir Isaac Newton was able to produce the foundation of some of his greatest work.

     Lessons Learned

     

    Finally, know that the reckoning for every crisis will come and during that period it will be necessary to consider the lessons learned. One of the greatest failures we make from crises of all kind is to ignore the important lessons. Noting things that went wrong and how these could’ve been prevented, helps greatly. The old adage about learning from mistakes in order to not repeat them is true. Note them, write them down, record them and take corrective actions for the future. This is the only fool proof way of moving on from a crisis for the better, otherwise it would have all been for naught. The world will learn a lot from the current global crisis and the changes to come will likely alter the course of human existence for a long time.

    We are currently in crisis mode but that will end, eventually and if we’re lucky enough to make it out un-phased we will have stories to tell and lessons to learn. In the meantime, make that lemonade and have your fill.

    crisis

    Let me know in the comments how you handle crises.
    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • Wake up and Live! – How I’m living in 2020

    Wake up and Live! – How I’m living in 2020

    Wake Up!

    I woke up one morning and it was the end of 2019 and for the first time in years, I chose not to ring in the new year at a party or event. Instead, I went to bed for a change.

    The year of clear (er) vision, 2020, has been an interesting one so far. I fully counted January as December 2.0 because for me, it was an opportunity to tie up loose ends of the year past. It was in that process that I was able to set some clear goals for the rest of the year and immediately start acting on them.

    I also spent some time looking at the goals I had set for myself in 2019 and for a quick second I was caught up in the idea of how I failed at accomplishing some of those only to realize that on the other side of failure is an opportunity for growth.

    For example, I didn’t complete my must read list of books from last year – boo hoo – but I did make an admirable dent in it. It also seemed that for every deliberate thing that I had set out to do and not fully accomplish, I was able to focus on something else and begin working on that, such as finally opening that stock market account.

    It can be testing telling yourself every day that – ‘I am enough’ – when the world constantly questions that.

    Am I really?

    For real?

    Are you ok?

    And that’s why sometimes I have to sit and really ask myself “Are you ok?”

    That self check-in has given me space to come to terms with how I am really feeling because if it’s one thing I know, not many people are genuinely asking me if I’m ok. For those that do, it is usually heartfelt and a real question, which I appreciate.

    In the new year, I’ve set new goals and I am extremely excited about the challenges and plans I have in store. Specifically, all the new things I am going to learn and put into action. For example, after a little over two years teaching, it’s refreshing being a student again and able to dive into the unknown.

    We’re now almost three months into 2020 and I have a pretty good road map for how I want to make this revolution around the sun a winner for myself in all aspects.

    Taking Care of Me

    There are so many ways I have committed to taking care of myself in the past but one of the primary ways has always been to indulge in whatever my heart desires (mostly), while my pocket could afford. That has proven to be a double edged sword and I now realize more than ever that taking care of myself is more than just a self-care regimen of a good face mask and a pedicure. It also includes conscientiously doing things that won’t cause me unnecessary regret later (hey bad debt). To really take care of myself, means not sabotaging my future with immediate satisfaction that will cost something important in the future, such as my health, wealth, sustenance or sanity. That being said, working on it!

    Focus on solutions

    There is ALOT of stuff that goes wrong every day that risks bogging me down inside my head:

    “Am I being a good friend? Am I being a good son, Am I doing my job well enough?”

    But I’ve taken to focusing on solutions when most of these questions pop up, because in almost every scenario, there is a solution to addressing these internal rumblings. And it usually surrounds choosing the affirmative and moving from there. So where the answer to any of those questions is – “No” the answer is – “I will do better today”. It also means clearing space in my mind and environment for the good to flourish. Good Vibes really make a big difference.

    Keep Moving

    As a follow on to being solutions oriented, it is important to just keep moving. You never get through anything if you don’t continue to move! So just keep going. If it means smelling the roses for a few and taking a breath, do it. What I have learned is that regardless of what I am dealing with, forward motion always takes me into the next chapter, no matter how difficult. Beyond the metaphoric though, I want to keep moving physically as well. I’ve come to realize how important being physical is to my mental and overall health, especially when I was not able to, so now more than ever I’m on a mission to get it done.

    Learning Never Ends

    One of the promises I made to myself this year was to learn as many new things as I could, specifically, things I’ve always wanted to know. And I am pursuing this all for the sake of gaining new knowledge. I have begun and it has been truly rewarding and fulfilling. My mind has opened up to so many new concepts and world’s that I could’ve never imagined before. It also extends to my ability to adapt to the new knowledge and manifesting it in my life. I am able.

    Baked into all of this is a renewed commitment to consistency, something that I have always struggled with (for certain things). I’m awake and I am ready to get it done!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • No, You’re not weird if you like doing stuff alone!

    No, You’re not weird if you like doing stuff alone!

    Alone and Loving it

    Society and the world would have you believe that you are out of place and somehow don’t fit in, if you choose to navigate certain spaces alone.

    So ingrained has this idea become for many of us, the thought of going to a movie on your own scares many people, because it is simply NOT done. I will go further to say that society looks down on doing certain things on your own to the point where, even hotels charge you more when you book a room as an individual and while that may be more down to economics, it reinforces an idea that doing anything ‘alone’ is supposed to be an anomaly.

    Growing Up

    When I was younger it was actually easier to move through the world alone. It was unquestioned as no one naturally expected that I should have a gaggle of friends around me at all times.

    At other times, I was in the presence of an adult carer, so it never occurred to me how important the world deemed it to see me in the company of others.

    But once you start to mature, being alone becomes a liability, in fact as a teenager I was expected to have a friend group beyond school that I could ‘hang out with’.

    Growing up in a household where I was an only child ran counter to this idea though. I learned how to entertain myself with reading, playing, talking with my Mom and once I discovered TV, it was all over, I didn’t need another soul.

    That said, while I do have some anxiety moving through some spaces and places alone, for the most part I’m fine with doing certain things by myself without feeling like something is wrong with me.

    Being an introvert can be a good or bad thing in this regard but that’s another story.

    How quaint…

    I get tickled when people muse about things they are ‘afraid’ to do alone because I feel like we are denying ourselves an experience, simply because someone else is not there, as if by ourselves, we are not enough (did that go too deep?).

    alone

    In general I never want to feel like I am at the mercy of someone else’s interest level, schedule or budget to go somewhere. When I want to go somewhere, why should I let another person’s unavailability or situation prevent me?

    Found myself getting caught in that trap too often before I started to ‘man up’ up and just go to places I really wanted to, alone.

    Want to go see that movie? – GO

    Feel like checking out that bar to have a drink but have no one to go with? – GO

    Feel like spending the day at the beach? – GO

    Doing it alone, even once doesn’t mean that you are an outcast, or even worse, that something is wrong with you.

    I think the biggest thing to get over, was the fear of how other people would regard me being alone in a space where I am surrounded by couples or even groups. The big thing I’ve discovered? For the most part people don’t care and in fact, they’re not paying any attention to me.

    No Problem

    There can be a lot of anxiety and while I’m not calling myself a hero, it does take some bravery to step out on your own and just be, without worrying about being alone. It’s now considered a novelty, a thing to celebrate when persons do something ‘ground breaking’ by dining out alone and that’s ok (baby steps for some peeps).

    It shouldn’t have to be that way but it is.

    We should feel our whole, true selves spending time alone, doing whatever it is that we love, guilt free, no issues.

    We are fine, we are complete, we stand alone if and whenever we choose and when we don’t feel like doing it alone, we do it with others.

    Think my next big thing to conquer is going to a medium sized party on my own and seeing where that leads…

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • Conquering your Fear of Public Speaking

    Conquering your Fear of Public Speaking

    If you’ve been a reader of this blog for some time, or if you know me, you would have picked up that I am a Toastmaster and a fan of public speaking.

    Working in communications, specifically radio, gave me practice using my voice, but joining the professional organisation known as Toastmasters International helped me to refine my presentation skills, even more.

    I recently had the opportunity to share some of my personal insights on public speaking on the Creatives on Fire podcast with Nadine Tomlinson – you can listen here.

    We had a fun conversation about public speaking, and I sought to address how persons can better embrace instead of fear these opportunities whenever they arise.

    Listening back to the conversation I realized that there are a few takeaways that have helped me immensely over the years.

    Where it all Began

    I can distinctly remember the first time I realized that just because I am articulate on the radio it didn’t automatically make me a good public speaker.

    It was during a public speaking workshop no less, where participants were being taken through the paces of sharing stories at the lectern. We were all tasked with preparing a brief speech about something of interest to us (if memory serves). I prepared something on paper and was mostly clear on how I was going to present it, however before we presented, our trainers provided insight on public speaking best practice.

    I had my draft speech all wrong and wanted to make changes to ‘improve it’.

    Well, I made my changes as best I could, however I had little to no time to really familiarize myself with the narrative.

    I went up to the lectern and I was completely stumped!

    What made this even worse was the fact that those who went before me were just about flawless in their presentations and even received commendations but I sunk like a deflated balloon.

    Nightmare!

    I experienced the deadliest cocktail of dread any person who fears public speaking could ever undergo:

    • Standing at a microphone facing a large group of people
    • I wasn’t sure of my material
    • Followed speakers who were really good
    • Embarrassed and blubbering

    That feeling of standing before an expectant audience, knowing that you are doomed but looking back at the blank faces because you know that they do not want to be in your position and they cannot offer any help.

    It was a public speaking disaster.  I took it in stride and promised to learn from that experience.

    When I was invited to join Toastmasters I was mentally prepared for the journey because I had experienced the worst public speaking fail and lived through it. No way was I going to shrink from an opportunity to do better and be great.

    On the journey as a Toastmaster I’ve learned three important things that I touched on in the podcast that I can speak about more here.

    Fear public speaking? You are not Alone

    If you’re like me, there was a time when the thought of getting up and addressing an audience of more than one person scared you to death. There’s a name for that -Glossophobia or fear of public speaking and it is more common than most of us believe. Appreciating that other people share this fear, I think, is the first step in getting over it. In fact, it may be an opportunity to laugh at yourself and truly come to terms with the experience.

    Think about public speaking from the micro level – every time you utter a word to someone else, it is a form of public speaking. You measure your progression by the growing size of audiences you are comfortably able to address over time. The only way you will be able to do this, is to get practice. Start small, start with family, at family gatherings, at church, in class, in your office but don’t take for granted the valuable experience you gain by simply doing it more often. Not only will you get used to public speaking over time, but there’s a high chance that you will learn and also grow.

    Power of the Pause

    I spoke a bit about this during the podcast, how pauses, strategically placed during a speech can elevate your oratorical skills. The next time you happen to hear a well known speaker address an audience, note how many times they make short pauses within the speech.

    Not only does it help them to catch a breath, the pause also engages the audience by allowing them time to think about some of what the speaker is saying. It is not a bad thing, it isn’t awkward when done correctly and as a speaker it also gives you a bit of time to gather your thoughts.

    Be Prepared 

    Finally, one of the most important aspects of public speaking we all seem to forget at some point is the ‘why’ of it all. Why are you standing before your audience and speaking? Of course the nightmare scenario of a request for impromptu speaking is always possible but even then, there is an expectation that you know something.

    In every other instance, the speaker must prepare. Read, memorise, write down, study, whatever you must do to ensure that you are familiar with your subject matter. Preparation helps you to be familiar with the topic, or even the written copy of your speech, but it’s plain common sense.

    Unfortunately, many people get intimidated because they want to be a great impromptu speaker without any experience at all. It really doesn’t work like that and only through doing, practicing, failing and learning will we ever get better at it. I really hope these insights can be useful if you are struggling with public speaking.  Let me know in the comments how you cope with public speaking jitters.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • It’s my Birthday! Let’s get nostalgic

    It’s my Birthday! Let’s get nostalgic

    Birthday Tings

    Today marks two important milestones, my blogs’ second year of active existence and my Birthday!!! It was no accident that my blog was launched on my birthday 2 years ago as I needed a momentous occasion to present it to the world and make it live.

    It’s been two years that have seen some major changes in my life, all for the best and thankfully, I’ve been able to chronicle it all using this space on the internets. My understanding of the blogging process has also matured and my commitment to consistency has remained intact, even if what that looks like has changed, overtime.

    I’m going to use this opportunity to do a quick rundown of some of the interesting insights and revelations I’ve made, through this blog over the past couple of years, by taking a look back at a few of the posts that for whatever reason have been memorable.

     

    Favourites to date

    birthday

    Over the past two years I’ve been fortunate to write about a lot of different topics. After all, the way my blog is set up allows me to venture across different topics across various interests. But I have two particular favourite s out of all I’ve written.

    My first ever blog post “35 Lessons in 35 years” remains one of my all-time favourite pieces I’ve written, not just because it was the first but because it also serves as a definitive statement on who I am and what I am about. I don’t think I’ve ever opened up this much to any one, much less to the public, all at once.

    My other favourite is a little blog I published in November 2017 entitled, “You can do Whatever you Like”  which I actual go back and read every now and then as a reminder that life is about doing the things that bring me joy, in whatever realm, no excuses.

     

    Stuff I Love that you probably missed

    birthday

    I’ve come to realize that I write as much for myself as I do for readers and sometimes, there are just ideas I find so hilariously intriguing I can’t help but write something about it. This was the case in August 2018, while on vacation, when I was inspired to write this sleeper of a blog “Five songs to NEVER play at a wedding”. To this day I still find the pretext funny as the situations around a wedding and possibly playing the ‘wrong’ song can go in weird places.

     

    Biggest Surprise

    birthday

    Probably the biggest surprise in the past two years of writing has been the response to two pieces I wrote about my experience selling my old car and buying a new one in Jamaica. The series is entitled “Things to consider when buying and selling a car in Jamaica” parts 1  and 2.

    The articles consistently turn up in searches in google and drives traffic to the site, so it is clear that people are buying and selling cars and now have a resource to get more information. That makes me happy, because the reason I wrote the blogs was because I couldn’t find any information about the process.

    Statement Piece

    birth

    Because I can write about whatever I want, boldness is expected as a standard and there are a lot of avenues I could take to be bold. But I responded to a call to highlight ‘the gay agenda’ that was launched by J-Flag in February 2018. The blog entitled “Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda” allowed me to simplify and present in my own way the perspective of LGBT Jamaica.

    What connected

    birth

    I guess we can all use some encouragement when it comes to our spending habits, specifically around Christmas time. That’s the only explanation I have for how people responded to the blog post published in December 2017 entitled “4 things you should NOT do with your December salary/bonus”.  Readers flocked to the piece which I consider tongue-in-cheek but with a few nuggets of wisdom and I appreciate that.

    As I celebrate my birthday, another trek around the sun, I’m supremely thankful for life and all the opportunities that come with it. I’ve taken this quick look back as I continue to chart my way forward. Thank you for being part of the journey, for reading, commenting, sharing and enjoying. It means a lot.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Six surefire tips to help you to read more!

    Six surefire tips to help you to read more!

    We are just over half way through 2019 and what a year it’s been. Time has gone by pretty fast and I’m realising that I have fallen slightly behind on my reading. As you may recall, in January I highlighted my Must Read Books for 2019 which consists of personal selections that I believe will help make my year better for reading them.

    Life has gotten in the way and while there are delays, I’m still pressing on, one book at a time and having fun!

    A recent speech I delivered at my Toastmasters club inspired me to consider those of you who are so caught up with life, your new year’s resolution to ‘read more’ is slipping through your fingers.

    I shared some tips to an enthusiastic audience of club members and guests who appeared to concur with my ideas about how best we can incorporate more reading into our daily lives.

    Reading maketh the …

    Lifehack.org says reading everyday can help with stress reduction, mental stimulation, memory improvement among other benefits. So beyond the idea of just reading to be considered astute, it’s actually good for our health.

    It sure helps me to escape whenever I need a fresh perspective or just to get some new information on something I didn’t know before, so imagine the wonders it can do for you!

    I remember years ago I used to see posters for the get caught reading campaign that was launched in 1999 by the Association of American Publishers. The ads usually featured a celebrity or otherwise notable person, reading a book. It was iconic and let me know that reading, just for fun, was cool (I was that guy who got genuinely excited when I heard that a book fair was being organised).

    Without further ado, here are six ways you can discover or rediscover your love for reading books or content, that is not work or school related.

    Start Simple

    The easiest way to start anything is to just begin and for many of us, consuming information online is as simple as it gets. Do you have a blog that you like to read or a magazine or newspaper website that you read on occasion?

    You may be reading more than you realize right now, if you’re like me and you read just about any interesting article you come across online.

    If your answer is yes then congrats because that reading counts as a small step toward reading even more! The key is to start where you are, so it may mean reading that free food magazine that you pick up at your favourite café or the newspaper. No need to feel ashamed because you are not yet ready to complete a 300 page novel.

    Before you know it, you will want to read more than just the information available in articles and magazines.

    Re-read a personal favourite

    People who have not read for pleasure consistently, beyond their school days, can often tell you with little asking the name of the first book they ever read cover to cover.

    If you can recall that literature book that you remember reading cover to cover and enjoying to the max, then maybe rereading it is the perfect way to get you back into the game.

    A good book is always worth rereading and what better way to ease your way into reading longer form content than by reading something familiar.

    Try out a short story collection

    Short story collections are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get and that’s the great thing! If you keep a short story anthology by your bed, you can go on a different adventure every night.

    These stories can span as little as two pages or as much as 20 and the great thing about a short story collection is you can read them in any order you wish. As the stories are not connected you don’t have to commit to reading a particular story just because it’s next in the book.

    Read books on subjects that you actually LIKE!

    There are thousands of ‘self-help’ books published each year on topics ranging from how to be your best self to building wealth. As a broad category, I don’t like self-help books, in fact, I don’t like reading them and guess what, I don’t feel any way about that and neither should you!

    I think many of us have been lead to believe that there are some books that you must read and unfortunately, more often than not, they fall in the category of self-help or motivational. I am amenable to reading books within this niche, but a very narrow segment that provides guidance through story telling or acts like a textbook.

    That’s just me however, because maybe that’s all you will be able to read and love, and that’s ok too. My point is, when you are ready to read a book of 200 pages or more, make it something that you love and truly want to read, not something you think you should, just because.

    Choosing books because of reasons other than love is one of the biggest blockers to people reading, and for the most part, we don’t even realise it. But it makes sense, if the book can’t hold your attention, then why read it?

    Get close to other readers

    If you have a friend who loves to read and is always reading, then stick close to that energy and not only will your interest in reading probably grow but you may also be inspired to model some of their behaviour. For example, a friend who always finds time to read is bound to have some useful tips to share on how you can carve out time from your busy schedule to do the same.

    Go a step further and join or form a book club, with friends, or other associates or even with new friends (strangers). Book clubs are a great way to not just hold yourself accountable when it comes to reading but they also engender camaraderie around books and the act of reading that is bound to keep you engaged and your eye on the prize. Imagine a group of people as excited about chapter 2 of a book you are reading, as you. You all you just can’t wait to have that conversation and relive the moment. Book clubs can do that and so much more. The African proverb says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” and a book club exemplifies this perfectly.

    Set a realistic personal reading goal and smash it!

    Making a personal reading commitment shouldn’t be a stressful undertaking. It is something fun that you want to do, at a pace that is realistic but also pushing you out of your comfort zone a little at a time.

    I set a goal of reading one book a month for 2019, even though I’m aware that I can read much more than that. Setting this goal gives me breathing room, while allowing me to focus on a core set of books.

    It’s also realistic and nothing excites me more than ticking off a personal goal once achieved.

    Here’s hoping that these tips can help you on this journey to reading more and having fun.

    Let me know some of the ways you ensure that you get your reading done!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Subscribe to the blog here  and share your content suggestions here.

    Kevin

  • Sorry doesn’t fix everything

    Sorry doesn’t fix everything

    I have this unwritten rule when it comes to my relationships – personal, professional or otherwise:

    “The more often that someone has to tell me ‘sorry’ is the more I have to consider the merit of our relationship.”

    Experience and history has taught me that if there’s that one person in your life who always has to be apologising for something, it may be time to let them go.

    Obviously this rule isn’t absolute and I’m quite sensitive to nuance, however I am guided by this principle when it comes to people’s behaviour.

    I learned this lesson from my last serious relationship, a LONG time ago… You’re with someone who after a while needs to constantly be reassuring and apologising to you for some malfeasance, then it may be time to take a serious look at what’s really going on.

    The thing is it may not even be about the person. That person may for all intents and purposes be doing their best, within the scope of what their ‘best’ is.

    Regardless, even at your worst, their best may not be simpatico with what you need in your life.

    Password: sorry

    Professionally, the same applies. If someone is constantly messing up, to the point where they are always apologising, over time, I become less invested in that association or its credibility. It’s about trust and reliability.

    My problem with it is persons use the word sorry as a password that is loaded with expectation. Some of the common expectations are:

    “You should forget about what I did”

    “It should never ever be mentioned”

    “We should act like it never happened”

    “It’s not reasonable for you to expect this to be a lesson”

    “I’m sorry but please don’t remind me why I should do better”

    Some people will say sorry grudgingly but really don’t mean it. They only utter the word because they realize that it is the socially acceptable salve for whatever, circumstance they may have caused to occur.

    And worse still are the offenders who should apologise but never do.

    Most annoying are the persons who are willing to say sorry, over and over again, while repeating the same infraction, over and over again.

    Showing UP

    The Jamaican saying is ‘take sleep mark death’ and I take that to heart when it comes to people’s consistency.

    At the end of the day, it is about how people show up in our lives. Showing up is a term I’ve become more familiar with as I get older. It has taken on added importance, because once you’re out of school and you become an adult, people have to make a much more deliberate effort to mean anything in your life by ‘Showing Up’.

    How many times have you had that good ‘work’ friend and the moment you leave or they leave that place of employment the ‘friendship’ dies?

    The things they do and say to make their presence known in your life, are important. If that continues to be problematic, then gird your loins.

    This whole thing about showing up I’ve come to realize is also important because the people who are consistent, supportive, unwavering and real, tend to be the ones I value.

    It’s the process of knowing and appreciating these people that allows me to let those who don’t show up fall by the wayside.

    It’s all connected.

    Forgiveness

    I’m still learning to navigate forgiveness and I have grown and gotten better at managing expectations of people. Maturity has afforded me more insight on how to deal with people. I now know that it is possible to forgive but own the fact that the person is not going to hold the same place in my life.

    That is absolutely ok, if the situation necessitates it.

    Too often, in the name of forgiveness and maturity, we are forced to play the role of ‘forgive and forget’ and act like it didn’t happen.

    Accepting the imperfections of being human, I get. People won’t get it right all the time, and that’s fine. However there’s a line that needs to be drawn in the sand when you realize that people just aren’t trying anymore.

    Honesty and Communication

    You know, as hard as it may be, all this ‘saying sorry’ can largely be prevented if people choose to be open communicators and commit to honesty. It sounds simple but I realize it’s difficult, because honesty is not as easy as those “Say it with your chest” tweets would have us all believe.

    It’s uncomfortable being honest all the time, because it usually means that someone else’s feelings may get hurt. On the flip side, being honest guarantees that persons are always aware of where you are.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Corporate work life: How to Thrive and Survive

    Corporate work life: How to Thrive and Survive

    Corporate Russian Roulette

    There are days when I go to work and before 10 am, I am fully ready to hand in my resignation and just say ‘Screw it All!’

    Yes, this is real life.

    It’s the life some of us live.

    We are not supposed to verbalise these feelings, in fact, you’re not supposed to talk about how much you hate certain aspects of corporate work life until you become one of those stories of people who have quit and hopefully able to brag that you’re ‘living your best life’

    So, what do you do instead?

    You remain, grateful, continue to do your best work, take care of your mental health and survive. There are a slew of things that we can all do to ensure that we survive and make the most of what working in a large organisation has to offer.

    After all, it’s not all doom and gloom and in fairness, the good days far outweigh the dark clouds of a bad day.

    There are some strategies that I have learned to employ to help me make the best of every moment and keep focused on being productive, accountable, alive and thriving.

    Walk with me.

     Reading is a gift that will keep on giving

                     

    If you are a reader, know that it is a gift that will serve you well in the corporate world, why? Because many people, working at whatever level of the corporate ladder, simply refuse to contend with anything that requires reading. They simply consider it bothersome and you see the results of this in email arguments that take place daily in companies everywhere. Now, with everyone else not reading, being able to spot details is something that adds value, because with less people reading, it means, more folks missing nuance and important details.

    Email follow-ups are key

    Sometime ago I wrote about email etiquette for the workplace here and it was an opportunity for me to delve into email habits that can serve us well.

    If it’s one thing James Comey’s book –  taught me, it was the importance of contemporaneous notes following meetings. What Comey did was brilliant. As a practice, he would routinely prepare memos following meetings to ensure a record of whatever the exchange was, existed. If you are familiar with his story, you know how well those memos served him, when it became necessary to sharing his story.

    In the corporate world, it’s no different, just a bit less intense. What I have found to work is preparing an email immediately following any meeting and sharing it with all participants, documenting the specific discussions and action points. I refuse to call this email meeting minutes, as I have learned that ‘meeting minutes’ – imbued with all the formality and need to record every small detail – often takes at least two days to be prepared and dispatched. This is the heights of inefficiency and is simply a time waster.

    The key thing about this practice is that it prevents others from changing the narrative of the meeting to fit what they need. Plus it keeps you and everybody else in the meeting accountable and ensures that everyone is on the same page. Reality is, some of your co-workers don’t respond well to tasks that aren’t written down, even if you’ve met about it.

    Observe patterns of behaviour

    We all have that co-worker who is so caught up doing their ‘work’ and they have no clue what is going on around them. Don’t be that guy.

    Make it your business to know how every move adds up, or not.

    While this is not a call for you to become the village voice for your place of work, it does you no good if you are unaware of what is happening in your company. Observing the corporate culture is key to helping you order your own steps.

    Then there is the just being aware of how your fellow employees relate to you and each other. It helps if you are able to mentally profile your team members in order to better navigate the working relationship. Not only does it prevent crossed wires, but in general it allows you to focus on being productive and getting the job done.

    This is why unpredictability upsets the apple cart so much. When people either take things personally or people get too personal with what they say and how they say it, it throws the workplace into chaos.

    The more you know.

    Choose your Battles

    It takes a certain level of mental fortitude to withstand the temptation of email warriors in the workplace who are always ready to tempt you into a back and forth. Worse still, are the potentially messy phone calls that can devolve into an argument.

    I remember the first and last time I got angry enough to shout at and hang up the phone on a colleague, primarily because I felt that the person in question was being extremely rude and disrespectful. The fact that I had to apologise, wholeheartedly afterwards, annoyed me to the core. It was a waste of time getting into a tiff, over work, in the first place. I vowed to never again get so that angry that I felt the need to lose my cool and behave like that.

    Restraint is the name of the game and I have learned that the long game is the best game when it comes to certain work relationships.

    It may be cute to recount your behaviour on Twitter, but in real life, it isn’t cute or quite as fulfilling.

    Smile, wave, breath, vent as needed and carry on, because you never know who wants you to lose your cool and jump off a cliff.

    When you do have to fight, use all the tools the corporate world provides: Well worded emails and no BS telephone conversations that can call out colleagues while still keeping it 100% respectful.

    Never share your childhood nickname with your co workers

    Learn from my mistake.

    A term of endearment needn’t be scandalized by people you work with.

    So caught up was in a moment of vulnerability (read food… I was eating food) during one of those team building gatherings, to get us to open up to each other.

    I was relaxed, enjoying my meal and ready to endear myself to my team members by sharing something they didn’t know. Never occurred to me that, them not knowing was the gift, but alas.

    I revealed my childhood nickname.

    Who would’ve thought that the revelation would come back to haunt me? I felt a dread previously unknown, when co-workers started parroting this name as if it was appropriate or their place.

    How dare you so casually throw a name about that was my dearly beloved, Great Grandma’s favourite name to call me by?

    You don’t know the history, you don’t know what it means? But you think it’s cool?

    Ha.

    It get’s worse

    To add insult to injury, a particular individual, who I wasn’t fond of decided that it was their prerogative to drop my nickname in at the most inappropriate and unnecessary times, At WORK.

    A term of endearment needn’t be scandalized by people you work with. It’s one thing if my co-worker, who I’m close with, uses it. I’m good with that. What pisses me is the assumed kinship some people have by referring to me by a name that’s not for their use.

    So, aside from my own sensitivity to being called by anything but my given name, it is clear that some ‘co-workers’ have no boundaries.

    Take my advice and don’t give them a chance to ‘Run wid it’.

    What are some of things that you are doing to make it in this Corporate Life? Let me know in the comments.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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