Spare the Rod… and Machete

After watching that video of the partly naked mother, viciously beating her daughter with a machete on Sunday, (reported on here) I was part amused and mostly dismayed.

I was amused because the dang dog reminded me of so many people, who are always making an effort to be in the middle of everything, and then get hurt.

But I was dismayed because what I saw, was a family at its lowest point and our Jamaican women, once again set up for ridicule.

I took my feelings to Facebook and penned this:

The video of the mother beating a girl who I assumed to be her daughter is distressing. And most of us will view it with outrage. That is appropriate, but I am distressed about what happened, not because I’m upset that a woman was beating her daughter with a machete. But by the fact that a mother even thought it an option to do that in the first place. 

A few years ago I would be blindly angry at the mother for what she did. But now, while I share my disgust with how she sought to discipline this girl, I also want to sit and have a talk with her. I really want to know what’s going on in her life.  What cut has she received so deep, that has caused her to walk away from her dignity in such a way? As for the dog… some of us can all learn a lesson from what happened to him/her.

I’ve seen the outrage, heard many of the jokes and for a quick minute decided that I didn’t want to touch on this topic any further, until now.

It’s Personal

I, like many other Jamaicans, was beaten by a parent while growing up, as a form of discipline.

No, I will never accept that beating me was justified, or the right way to discipline a child. There was no other option presented, as it was the only way I was disciplined.

Personally, I feel it did more harm than good, but that’s another conversation all together.

I have seen some of the commentary on this matter and I’m still trying to figure out what people are more upset about… the beating itself or the fact that it was done with a machete?

I’m willing to commiserate with the mother, not because I believe she deserves pity for her stress, but because I recognise that society places the responsibility for disciplining her child squarely on her shoulders.

Our current issue is that she ‘overdid it’ in many of our eyes. The fact is, some serious injury could’ve been caused to her daughter because of what she was doing.

For the Culture

Unlike some folks, nostalgia means nil to me, in this zero sum game of corporal punishment that is somehow glorified as a panacea for discipline, in seemingly every aspect of Jamaican life.

Physically violence is a THING with our people.

I find the outrage at this video alarming as well, as there is another popular video which has made the rounds on social media, showing what appeared to be a ‘neighbour’ disciplining the child of another neighbour.

Similar to the current video in question, this was also in a ‘Big Yaad’ setting, because of course, putting working class people on ‘blast’ is never out of style.

In that instance, she used her hands, to deliver some choice blows to the girl who protested violently.

Kum-Ba-Yah?

As was said here, Ms Dyer should be resocialised, not criminalised.

She committed a crime and the consequences of that offence should be corrective but also something that helps us, as a community to be better.

Her daughter too, also needs assistance. Not to learn to be a ‘good girl’ but to understand that that level of abuse is not normal and is not something she should expect from anyone, ever.

Sadly, our culture insists that ‘two lick neva hurt nobody’. Therefore, displays like that witnessed Sunday, will continue to be tolerated and argued about. Less so, if a machete is not in play.

Victim blaming will be the mainstay… ‘Di likkle girl muss bad.’

I would wax philosophical and say that this is a teachable moment, and for some it will be, but I fear that culture will do what it often does, carry on.

But while you’re at it, do us all a favour and report incidents of child abuse that you witness and know places a child in danger HERE. It really shouldn’t take several months and public outcry.

Leave a comment and let me know how this whole thing makes you feel.

If you have post suggestions, let me know here

Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

Kevin