I, like many others in the Caribbean, continue to watch spellbound as Hurricane Irma makes her destructive stride across the Caribbean, on her way to the US mainland.
Earlier this week, I told a friend I felt compelled to use Irma as a metaphor to illustrate a point about how self-limiting we can be at times, even as the world sees us for the force of nature we truly are.
I won’t continue with the metaphor but the message stands true.
Self Sabotage
How many times have you complained about a talent, that you didn’t have or something you thought you just couldn’t do? Or maybe it was a physical feature you thought wasn’t good enough?
There are two distinct memories I have of doing just that and it took years for me to realize what the bigger lesson was.
Interestingly enough, both incidents occurred while I was in University completing my first degree. It was a period I considered a second chance to step into adulthood after the ravages of high school (I’m dramatic, I know).
Deeper
My dream was to become a a broadcast journalist and I was blessed to receive some of the most nuanced and engaging training from Ms. Monica Johnson. She taught me Voice and Diction and Radio Broadcasting 1.
Ms. Johnson, to this day is a dear mentor and friend, who back then, made you feel like you were the most special person on the planet, in a room full of other people. Her classes were a must-attend event, because we all knew that not only would we learn something, but also leave feeling a renewed sense of being.
Talent-wise, I realised early on that I was blessed, but never did I take for granted that I stood to benefit and grow from any instruction and guidance, something I continue to hold true.
Most people who have to work in broadcasting, or any sphere of self expression where they have to record, especially their speaking voice, will all say, they hated the sound of their own voice, at first.
I am no different, but I would prefer to think I was indifferent to my voice, as opposed to all out hated it.
It was ok, it could do interesting stuff and other people seemed to like it.
But I distinctly remember an interlude that occurred after completing a voice exercise during one of Ms. Johnson’s radio classes.
I had just finished reading a radio ad or some other piece, and Ms Johnson asked me: “How do you feel about that?”
And I remember telling her that “I would like to make my voice a little deeper.”
What she said next floored me.
She said “Kevin, you have a very warm voice. I think that was very good.”
It seemed simple enough but it had a real impact on my self-perception.
I was so busy wanting a deep (er) voice, I completely missed the fact, that what I may’ve lacked in depth, I had in warmth.
Jaw Dropper
The second illuminating experience also occurred during my college years just before I got braces.
Now, anyone who knew me in high school would probably remember the rambling madness that was my teeth.
I had an open bite and pre-molars making their own rows where ever they chose. The top and bottom rows of my teeth were off-center and my lip posture was completely off. Needless to say, there were moments I was self conscious about my teeth and my smile.
I didn’t think cute or even passable when I considered myself and it didn’t help that I loved to laugh! (still do).
And while I was self conscious, I had gone through enough name-calling for it to not matter too much by that point. My teeth were a part of who I was and I could live with that.
So as the story goes… I was sitting with a class mate somewhere on campus and we were talking.
Somehow the conversation got around to teeth and she said to me… “Kevin you have beautiful teeth.”
And I responded “Really?!”
“Yes you do,” she replied. “They are packed but they are still beautiful.”
That was a jaw dropping moment because before then, the word beauty was NEVER one I associated with my teeth.
How could anyone see beauty, in my packed, open bite, double rowed mouth?
I had completely overlooked the fact, that though my teeth were “all over the place,” I had big strong teeth nonetheless.
I had no dental caries, no cavities, they were all there and a healthy shade of chalk.
Own it!
These two small, but life altering exchanges have changed my outlook on life, who I think I am and how much of that limiting self-talk I am willing to believe.
In each case, I was the first to point out all the things that were ‘wrong’ with me. But I neglected to acknowledge and appreciate the things that were good, and appealing. Somehow, loathing the ‘obvious’ was easier.
I see this everyday in people who are close to me and not so close. They trample upon the aspects of who they are that make them special because they have to acknowledge and attempt to fix what is ‘wrong’.
But we all should acknowledge and claim what is right and what is good about us!
I am a Force of Nature
I am able to achieve, create, grow, prosper and survive with all the gifts that I have been given.
It is also significant that my eyes were opened to my own ‘gifts’ by other people. Sometimes, that outside perspective reveals aspects of who we are, that on our own, we refuse to acknowledge or accept.
Don’t ignore the gift that you are.
Keep searching, remain thankful and find all of what you have to offer the world.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
Would love to hear your eye opening stories, feel free to share them with me here.