In my previous post I led you through the forest that is prepping and getting your motor vehicle sold. I still have more to share on that score as the process can be complicated if you are not sure about the steps to take when actually making the transition.
For one thing, educating yourself about the process is key, especially as it relates to the requirements for transferring the vehicle as well as how you decide to free the vehicle from your lender (if necessary).
The first thing I was reminded of was the fact that there was a lien on my car because of the car loan I had on the vehicle. I still owed money on the vehicle from my lender, so that needed to be cleared BEFORE the car could be transferred.
Now let me explain an important, non-negotiable aspect of the buyer-seller relationship (which I learned in hindsight). Once you have identified a buyer, it is highly recommended that they pay you a deposit. In fact, if the buyer is really serious they will be willing to pay a deposit, and if not unfeasible, enough to cover the cost of the lien on the vehicle.
This helps in two ways, namely it ensures that you are not wasting your time, making a commitment to someone who does not intend to purchase your vehicle and also saves time by clearing the lien from your lender (in case this applies). Many persons choose to sell their vehicle after they’ve completed paying off the loan, so the lien requirement may not be an issue, nevertheless the deposit remains important.
Clear the Way
Once the lien is paid off from your lender, you will receive paperwork, which includes the motor vehicle certificate of title, to take to both the insurance company as well as the tax office.
Clear the lien with the insurance company and you’ll be good to go to the tax office where you will need to take the document showing that you have cleared the lien, the vehicle title and registration documents.
The motor vehicle transfer process is pretty simple. The seller will need to get the title stamped at the tax office before handover to the buyer. The traditional story about this process is that both buyer and seller visit the tax office at the same time. This is not necessary as the seller can begin the transfer process alone and simply hand over the documents to the buyer.
Once the title is stamped and handed over to the buyer, they are now free to start the process of registering the motor vehicle in their name and get their own registration plates and return the ones you own. Some insurance companies also require the certificate of fitness before providing insurance coverage.
Close the Deal
Before even getting to this stage, handing over copies of vehicle registration information to the buyer will be necessary, specifically if they need to acquire a loan to complete the transaction.
As the seller you will need to provide a pro-forma invoice and if the vehicle is imported, import and sale documents.
Once the buyer has possession of the vehicle, it’s time for you to cancel your own insurance to close out the deal. Transaction now complete you can now move on with your life, until of course, it’s time to do it again.
I found that the process is made easier if both parties are fully educated about the process. Both buyer and seller must be empowered and proactive in this regard in order to prevent unnecessary headaches.
So, did I miss anything?
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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I recently completed what I consider one of the second most testing processes I have ever had to endure: selling my car in Jamaica. Other people may have had varying experiences with this and I acknowledge those. For a number of reasons the process was tedious, testing and downright annoying. What didn’t make the process easier was the lack of valuable information that could clarify the whole process for the novice seller or buyer.
Tax Administration Jamaica has made a valiant attempt to provide some basic information on the steps necessary when completing a motor vehicle transaction, but in my opinion, it is lacking. What’s even more confusing is the fact that depending on the person you speak with when you call tax admin, you may receive contradictory information about the process.
So, where does it all begin?
Let’s talk a bit about my process when selling.
I bought my first car, 4 years ago, in what at the time appeared to be a very smooth and straight forward process. I, the needy pedestrian wanted to purchase a car that was dependable, inexpensive and a good buy. After visiting a few car marts and doing research online, I found MY car and started the process.
Fast forward to four years later and I was now ready to sell it and also come face to face with the fact that I do not consider myself a salesman. Nope, that’s not me, however the key thing I believe I had going for me was – a good car that was well maintained and would be a great buy for anyone who really wanted it.
Value it!
The first thing I did when I finally decided that my car needed to go was to give it a final servicing (as scheduled) and get any external body repairs done. In my case that meant a bit of spraying to cover some scratches and dents here and there.
One of the most important things I did came next. I decided to get my car valued by a certified valuation company. I chose this one because they seemed legit and were pretty accessible.
A valuation is important when selling a car because it gives you a justifiable basis for your pricing and I say justifiable because, you will get tested by people who approach you about your vehicle and want you to basically give it to them, at a loss. You will get two prices: the estimated value of the car and the forced sale value.
Armed with my valuation I now had a red line, meaning the force sale value was the amount I refused to go below in terms of my final sale price.
Once the car was valued I decided on where I was going to advertise and immediately, I chose online platforms, because based on my own experience, that’s the first place I looked for cars, when I started shopping. I also did a few print placements to let the world know about my car. I was quite confident and gave it a nice firm offer price, with price negotiable in bold letters.
The Response
Two things happened after my initial ad went public – calls trickled in with expressions of interest and I started getting sales calls from guys purportedly based in Japan who were trying to sell me cars, directly shipped from there.
What I noticed immediately about people who link you to buy your car is that not all expressions of interest are truly ‘interest’. Some people just want to call to ask you random questions about your car, or the more famous question – where is it located?
Be warned, ignore anyone who links you wanting to “purchase a car for their wife but due to work they can only meet at night to look at it.” Absolutely NOT, and yes that did happen and the person in question had the audacity to follow up asking – “if I’m ever available.”
I made a point not to get attached to potential buyers and unless there was some kind of agreement, I refused to follow up.
Anyway, after about 7 weeks on the market, I finally found a buyer for my car, who gave me the price I believe, was in line with my expectations. This was after being sassed by people I don’t know who told me they were able to get better prices from other folks, or who wanted me to shave $100k off the value, just because they called and expressed an interest. STAND YOUR GROUND.
In part 2 I’ll tell you more about the process and some of the more challenging aspects.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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It has taken me a long time to learn an important lesson about life and relationships. It is the fact that I do not need to understand or ‘figure out’ why people treat me a certain way.
There is so much to gain from not having the need to know why people treat you a certain way, especially when it is negative.
For example, I remember a time when a relationship I was in ended. I was in a lot of pain as I attempted to process everything about the situation. More stressful however, were my attempts to try and figure out why the other person did what they did to hurt me and how they felt about me.
I became a slave to my ‘need’ for this knowledge, holding it like a warm coal to keep me going, or so I thought. But what I was really doing was placing a burden on myself by trying to discover something that could neither help me nor change what had already happened.
Can you imagine thinking that knowing why someone ‘broke your heart’ would free you? Yes, it took me a minute.
Another instance was when a long time ‘friend’ slowly drifted away. They stopped communicating with me, acted like I was the one who made the 180 degree move and went silent, when all I did was follow their lead.
For years I racked my brain trying figure out what changed? What did I do? What expectation did I not live up to?
I was hurt.
It gets Better
In both situations I was at the mercy of this supposed obligation on my part. Trying to figure out people’s motivation, like a private eye and lawyers piecing together a murder mystery to ascertain motive. But all that was burdensome and simply made me sad.
So over time I realized that it was fruitless and counterproductive.
Knowing would not help me anyway and was needlessly tying me to people who really couldn’t care less about me.
The decision therefore was for me to let go and free myself from this need.
Almost instantly I realized the freedom there was, in not having to know why a person treated me a certain way.
After having a quiet conversation with my ego I also acknowledged that rejection in any form is painful, but it’s also complete, no follow up answer necessary.
I didn’t need an explanation of the other person’s ‘why’ to move on with my life. In fact, the sooner I let go of that notion, the quicker my freedom will come. Sure, the questions may linger at the back of my mind, but I refuse to be burdened by the need to know.
Many of us fall into the trap when mourning relationships of trying to figure out the ‘why’ of it all – “why did this person choose to push me aside why does this person treat me a certain way?”
But this gets us nowhere because it doesn’t change the reality of the rejection and it doesn’t free us from the memory of that hurt. So then what?
It’s simply not wise to belabour the point.
Much Better
The other side of this coin has made my life so much more glorious!
Listen, when people choose to walk away, I don’t even ask two times why and I refuse to worry about it.
I’m good. Do you boo!
If excommunicating me from your life is a positive life decision for you, I don’t need to be told twice. *peace*
In the same vein, if people treat me a certain way, I am not trying to be their therapist. If it is too much for me to handle, then I’ll handle accordingly. Life’s too short trying to always question why people make certain uncomfortable decisions.
I recognised just how powerful this stance is when I had to caution my closest friend on many occasions. She was always trying to figure out the thinking behind her tormentor’s motivations.
“How could they think and behave the way they do?”
I was always there to reminder her: “That’s not your concern and should not get in the way of your healing and progress, so keep it moving.”
This was not her battle nor was it beneficial to her, attempting to know that. We live, we learn.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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Sometimes I get all hot and bothered about how terrible people can be, in every sphere of life. It simply amazes me how selfish and garbage we are to each other, in daily life. For many of us, we get to witness the ‘joy’ that is humanity at the place we spend most of our time – work or in traffic.
We’ve been led to believe that being a good person is as easy as putting on a happy face and saying good morning to every person you encounter in the morning.
But real life isn’t as simple, because while, being a good person is largely self-determined, managing how we react and respond to others around us, is not quite the same.
I have a bunch of pet peeves about how we treat each other and there are some simple things that we all can choose to do, as a personal standard, across all spheres of our lives, to be better people.
I have my own weaknesses and I acknowledge that I am a work in progress, may this be as valuable for me as it is for you.
Stop breaking your own heart
How do we break our own hearts you may ask? By breaking the promises we make to ourselves, for ourselves; by not doing things that enrich our lives; by using our valuable time doing things that break us down instead of building us up. There is so much harm that we do to our own person every day. And it seems easy to disregard because it is internal but it’s important. Too often we don’t realize that the journey to being a better person for others begins with us being good to ourselves.
Figure out Loyalty and be Loyal
The world considers loyalty a gift that keeps on giving, in fact Confucius said “Be loyal and trustworthy. Do not befriend anyone who is lower than yourself in this regard.” But don’t assume that it’s something that you will know automatically. We all have to figure out what it means to us because, this will determine how we relate that understanding to our relationships with others.
Talk Truth
So easy to say, yet, seemingly so hard to do! The lies you tell to yourself, your mama, your best friend, your boss. But if you make a commitment to put a premium on being honest in your life, then it shouldn’t be a problem. This includes dealing with the consequences of telling lies. And half-truths or lying by omission technically don’t count as being truthful. We muddy the waters of our lives by being dishonest. Ripples from lies go far, even when we think there are no consequences.
Stop wasting people’s time
You read right. Stop wasting people’s time in all the ways that you do. If you are not interested, let them know. If you don’t want them, let them know. If they can’t fit into your life, let them know. What you shouldn’t be doing is dragging people along when you really have little or no interest in even considering them a valued part of your life.
Be on time
Contrary to popular belief, punctuality gives you so much power over a situation. Just imagine having a reputation that is centred on the fact that you are always on time. So for one, you will not be the person who usually waste’s people’s time, but you may even earn the label ‘dependable’. That counts for much in certain aspects of our lives. Punctuality, just like being well dressed, is a gift that you give to others.
Add Value
In your every action and word, are you being a change maker? Can anyone truly say that you add value to their lives? We don’t often look at our lives in this way, but if we all consider that our time is finite, then every moment we have is currency. This currency, we get to decide how and with whom to spend. So how are you adding value with your time and energy? I try to add value to the lives of those I love and share my time with. Lately I’ve realized that I not only have something to say, but I can probably teach others a thing or two as well, my way of adding value, somehow.
Stop Judging People…
We make judgements about people based on so many different factors, but really is it worth it? I think I’ve matured a bit because this is something I have to deal with and manage as well. Because, my own judgement and perception of people can sometimes be self-limiting and prevents me from being open to the idiosyncrasies of different people. I’m re-learning how to deal with other people from a distant by simply observing. That’s my strategy though and it keeps me centred and less ‘judgy’.
Take IG Breaks
Social media is fun and a great outlet for expression but sometimes, in order to help us be our best selves, it’s a good idea to let go of its tethers. But it isn’t a bad thing to take a quick break from your social media sometimes, specifically, IG. After being force fed a curated visual representation of someone else’s life over a period of time, it’s almost inevitable that some of us will start sizing ourselves up and compare. It’s not worth it. Take a break if and whenever you need to focus on yourself and just thrive in your own aura.
This is a not panacea or even specifically advice just my way of being less of a trash person. It takes work, but we can do it.
What are some of the things you are doing to be a better person?
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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The carefree days of summer are basically over and while the warmth will continue in Jamaica, there is definitely a feeling that we associate with summer days, such as holidays and the fact that many of us take vacations during these months.
I’m no different and I experienced one of my most spontaneous adventures in my homeland recently. It was simple, uncomplicated but a memorable day spent with friends that I’ll never forget.
What was supposed to be a pretty straight forward drive to the country to see two known attractions turned into an epic road trip and an adventure that I will forever cherish.
On the move
I aim to be very deliberate about how I interact with Jamaica because I don’t ever want to make the mistake of not realizing what a gem this country is, if and when I am someplace else.
That said, there are so many unspoiled, nooks and crannies all over Jamaica, you could choose to go on an adventure every weekend and never be bored.
I see the term ‘self care’ bandied about a lot, and I appreciate the focus on all of us taking better care of ourselves, in every way that matters. Like everything else in life, self care is something that must be deliberately pursued and done, therefore, discovering my country and relaxing is a big part of my regimen.
So in the name of self care and just going on an adventure, I decided that St Elizabeth would be the location for this jaunt.
The Mission
The mission was simple I, along with two of my friends, would leave Kingston for a day of fun and relaxation at a body of water in St Elizabeth, specifically, YS Falls. The idea was to spend the day enjoying the cool waters of YS Falls, which is fed by the YS river.
Glen (center) and Jaevion (right) are the best roadies ever!
Getting to St Elizabeth was a breeze, thanks to the highway and our first photo stop was Holland Bamboo, which despite some wear and tear still has an unmistakable allure. The long and busy stretch of road is surprisingly good for photo ops, which we took advantage of. Just be careful when standing in the middle of the road for those awesome shots, because… road safety.
Holland Bamboo is always a mood!
We made our way to the road leading to the YS Falls attraction, which at a point is surrounded by rolling green pastures that are home to cows and horses. When we finally arrive at the YS reception center however, we were advised that due to rains the previous day the waters at the falls were muddy and brown.
Unexpected Turns – It’s an Adventure
Here began the unexpected day, because this was not part of the plan. We decided to skip YS Falls and head to Little Ochi seafood restaurant in Alligator Pond, Manchester. There was time, so instead of simply turning around, we took a route that I had never been attempted before and went into the hills of St Elizabeth using a curvy country road, leading to Maggotty.
We drove through Maggotty with hope of finding a body of water, specifically, Breadnut Valley Falls, which is just outside the town.
Unfortunately, it was closed and not accessible, so we continued on our journey to Little Ochi, which is actually located on the coast of Manchester. The restaurant is so close to the border with St Elizabeth, it’s often misplaced by some people as part of the parish.
I never realized that the southerly road to little ochi was so long. It took about 30 minutes to drive down to the restaurant, which sits on the coast, from the foot of Spur Tree Hill.
The quintessential meal order from Little Ochi – Escoveitch Fish
Little Ochi on any given day is either a hit or a miss and on this day it was a hit! It wasn’t crowded and the service was quick and pleasant. They had a good selection of nice sized fish to choose from and cooked them up to our delight.
Parts Unknown
This is the part of the journey where the real adventure begins. As we were approaching Little Ochi, we came upon an intersection, with a sign that pointed to a road to the left that led to Milk River in Clarendon. So we decided pretty early that we would make our way back to Kingston using that route.
Now, even though Jamaica is an island, many of us (myself included) prefer to think that the parish of Manchester has no coast. In fact, I’ve just always assumed that the coast of Manchester was inaccessible because it was all cliffs and ridges, well, I learned different.
Once we were done grubbing at Little Ochi, we made our way along this road that was flanked by hills to the left and untouched beaches to the right. Pretty soon however, it became clear that this roadway wasn’t one that was frequently used. We figured this out as we noticed ‘macca trees’ that flanked the road on both sides start to get closer the further we went.
What started out as a relatively wide road, became more and more deserted, winding and smaller the further we went. I actively considered turning back at points until at a particularly narrow section we encountered our first and only other motorist. It was a bit of a challenge allowing him to pass. By this time, we could no longer see the coast because we were surrounding by bush on all sides! We started referring to the span as “The Road that Shouldn’t be There.”
Gut River
We were making our way down the winding, uneven and almost completely covered roadway when we came upon a clearing and saw a group of people emerging from bushes on the left side of the road. When we looked to the right, we saw a gate and a sign, welcoming us to the Gut River Beach Village.
The sign announcing the Gut River Beach Village. Look out for it or you might miss it!
Before that day I had never really known about this place but the sign said it all, River and Beach, we had found our water. We were also pleasantly surprised to see a number of other vehicles at the location that had brought campers to the site, apparently for the weekend.
The beach village has seen better days but the natural beauty cannot be denied. The gateway opened into a yard and just beyond it a small stream that is a breakaway from the river cuts a path through the property, with its crystal clear waters.
This stream gave us a small taste of Gut River
Beyond that was the warm waters of the Caribbean Sea, crashing against the south coast of Manchester.
Gut River is a revelation! The water is cold but clear and at the roadway where the river emerges, is a deep ‘blue hole’ where water bubbles up from the hills and flows to the ocean – perfect for swimming and diving.
The cold, crystal clear waters of the Gut River… so refreshing!
We were able to spend a good chunk of time enjoying the warm water and the particularly flat beach and black sand before we emerged once again and dipped in the cool waters of Gut River (Gut is a shortened version of the german word for Good, apropos I think).
When we eventually left and made our way back on the road, the winding continued through what seemed like never ending wilderness until we reached Canoe Valley, and it’s major attraction the Alligator Hole River and its accompanying game sanctuary, which is home to manatees and crocodiles.
Part of the Alligator hole protected area
That was the last major point of interest before we eventually re-emerged into civilization in Clarendon. We discovered, later that the roadway we used to get to Gut River was called the South Coast Road.
Doing New Things
What has made me so smitten with this journey was the fact that I felt like a foreigner in my own homeland. Jamaica is so beautiful and there is so much for us to see and experience, but access is important. The fact that the road to this pristine location on a seemingly remote coastal region of Jamaica is in disrepair, is something to ponder about. Not many people know Gut River or the wonders of this portion of Jamaica’s South Coast.
I’m glad that I am able to take trips like this and have friends to enjoy it with but I am also cognizant of others who for whatever reason, don’t have the same luxury.
If you are able, find those places across your homeland that you have left undiscovered and live!
Share with me some of the hidden gems in Jamaica that you are familiar with in the comments section.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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If you know me personally, you are very aware that I love a good laugh and my sense of humour is always ready to be tickled. With that preamble there should be no surprise about the context of this blog. Different fragments of this idea have been tumbling around in my head for a while, so here goes.
I was recently, relaxing on a beach where there happened to be a wedding underway. I was in ear shot, so I could hear the ceremony begin with the familiar strains of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March.
Once that was over I assumed that the official part of the ceremony had begun. Soon after I heard one of my favourite Stevie Wonder tunes begin to play: ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered’. I thought to myself, that’s as appropriate a song as any for the DJ to play at that exact moment.
And after hearing that it occurred to me, suppose the DJ had chosen to play the wrong song(s) on this very special occasion?
A wedding is such a precious memory for the happy couple but you best believe that there are a few things that can ruin it – drunken guests, exes, quarreling family members and most importantly, questionable musical selections.
I have jokingly considered some of the most inappropriate songs to be either played by a DJ, dedicated or used as a toast by a guest or generally be heard anywhere near a wedding ceremony. So in no particular order, here are my top 5 worst songs to play at a wedding and some alternatives, because hey, I got your back #nojoke. Be guided and thank me later.
Wedding No No: As We Lay – Kelly Price
I love this song! Kelly Price’s remake of this Shirley Murdoch original was a new classic when she covered it in 2000. Beautiful arrangement and singing cannot however hide the fact that this song is about a woman pining over another woman’s husband, with whom she has previously spent the night with.
It’s worth mentioning that a few years ago, Kelly was invited to an event organised by a church to perform some of her hits. However, due to a timing issue her performance was pushed up too close to the beginning of the church’s main convention event. Let’s just say, it made headlines, and they weren’t pretty. What’s even worse, As we Lay was one of the songs that she performed. It sounds good and could probably be perfect for an intimate dance, but not at a wedding, unless you are really trying to be super MESSY. Save yourself the embarrassment or bruises and go with my suggested alternative: Why I Love You by MAJOR.
Wedding No No: If Walls Could Talk – Celine Dion
I remember the first time I encountered this song. It was in 1999 when Celine released her ‘All the Way’ album. I love it for a number of reasons such as the fact that it was produced by Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange, ex-husband of Shania Twain plus, Shania did some of the backup on the track.
The song is sensual, perfectly arranged and sets the tone for so much romance. So no wonder it is a popular tune at strip joints and go-go clubs in Jamaica, which is funny because it was never a single, so DJs at these clubs must’ve really loved it, thus solidifying its popularity. All that being said, let’s lower the temperature at the wedding a tad bit and leave this off the playlist, at least, during the early part of the reception. Keep it safe and accessible and suggest the DJ play another Celine fave: Because you Loved me.
Wedding No No: Ordinary People – John Legend
Alright, weddings are deep and emotionally, they rank pretty high as life events. But is the ceremony the place to dig up all that ‘real’ drama? It is supposed to be a fantasy that will make not only an indelible impression on guests, but give the married couple something wonderful to remember for years to come (hopefully). That said, reminding that they are ordinary people “who just need to take it slow” is NOT goals’. Cut to the chase and make an appropriate dedication with John’s other tune: All of me.
I know I’m not the only one – Sam Smith
So, my admission, I loved Sam Smith’s first album and the songs he wrote and performed so ably during that era. However, his repertoire leaves much to be desired when it comes to visions of matrimonial bliss. Here-to-fore, it would be highly inappropriate for anyone attending a wedding or otherwise involved to either perform or dedicate this song to the happy couple. I don’t care if you love it. Sadly, it’s slim pickings from Sam, because he hasn’t quite mastered presenting stable relationships in his music just yet. That said, if you must have a Sam Smith song played, choose: Latch (Acoustic).
Ready For Love – India Arie
India Arie has a song for every mood. For the generation who may have missed her emergence and glory days, do a youtube search for “Strength, Courage and Wisdom” (you’re welcome). She has a number of ballads and has always been able to capture some of those vulnerable aspects of relationships and love that, otherwise don’t get featured in popular music (Just check this tune).
Now, Ready for Love would seem like a perfect complement to any wedding, however check the lyrics and you’ll realize that it speaks to a place on the journey of love that the newlyweds should be past. I would hope that I am more than ready for love on my wedding day, but maybe that’s just me. She has a beautiful alternative in this song: Can I walk with you.
Tell me some of your wedding song no-no’s and must haves in the comments section!
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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Sometime ago I was at home, having a mind muse when the thought “Know Thyself” popped into my mind. It was like fate inserted that timely reminder into my psyche to get me gathered.
Of course, as musings go, I tweeted it out and it connected with a number of people.
It seems we are always being reminded by life to know who we are, for ourselves. It is important and vital.
Every day we go about our lives and typically we are in constant contact with other members of our communities – work, school, gym, family, etc.
But what I’ve realized is that people are always trying to decide who we are, based on their perception and just how they experience us each day. It can be tempting to accept and even feel comfortable with these distinctions. Who doesn’t want to be considered ‘Lit’?
Knowing who you are, fo’ real isn’t just something nice to say, it is a conscious examination of every facet that defines us and our actions.
I Know Me
I am an introvert.
For a time, I felt comfortable saying that I was shy, but shyness didn’t fully account for some aspects of my personality, that went beyond how I felt around people. It was more all encompassing and definitive.
Shyness, people can get over, but I was different. I recognised that it took more out of me to attempt to make friends or even get to know people. To this day that’s still an issue, which has decreased over time, but is still evident.
Sadly, many people misconstrue my introversion for other things… dislike, disgust, disdain, aloofness even – when really I may just be too distracted trying to keep my ‘ish’ together.
Nevertheless, I make no excuses.
“There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.” ― Tennessee Williams.I know myself and therefore I am unbothered by how people respond to that aspect of my personality; I know, I usually don’t mean people ill will, and therefore I try not to beat myself up about it.
I’m a communicator, by profession.
And while I acknowledge the irony of this, being able to compartmentalise aspects of my personality helps.
The ebullient Communications professional asks all the questions, speaks into the microphone but someone who is also quiet and appreciates alone time.
Standing my ground
As I have matured and grown older, it has become easier for me to stand my ground and remain unbothered about other people’s issues with my idiosyncrasies. After almost four decades of refining and being truly honest with myself, it is safe to say, I don’t give a damn.
But standing my ground also comes at a cost.
There is the clear and present danger of me being misunderstood and misinterpreted by some folks. Most recently I have learned the value of truly standing in my truth and letting that do the talking.
That includes accepting certain personal shortcomings and fully understanding that I am imperfect and a work in progress.
Just Be
It is because I am so aware of who I am, why I firmly reject labels which seek to oversimplify, and dilute the true essence of who I am. I am more than what someone can throw at me in a phrase that seeks to define me.
There is a joy that comes with knowing that you never owe another soul an explanation for who you are and the important choices you make.
In knowing and fully acknowledging who I am, I have been able to come to terms with so many things that have occurred in my life over the past few years. The good that manifested from hard work and perseverance and the bad that was unearthed when the life decided to show me what was lurking under the surface.
Probably the best part about knowing who I am is the fact that it makes any decision to change, that much easier. As I outlined in this post in June change is what keeps me driven and excited about life. I’m still learning, growing and changing. Some will like it, some won’t.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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Email writing etiquette in the professional environment is very important. It could mean the difference between making a lifelong work friend or making an enemy forever that could realistically, lead to your dismissal. Many people completely misconstrue the purpose of emails that are sent in the corporate setting and I believe this causes confusion.
Growing up I remember specifically when I was in primary school or maybe High School I went through different classes where I was taught how to write a business letter and one of the most significant things I can recall is that a business letter is always to the point and completely factual. No overly saccharine greetings and pleasantries necessary, you just get to the point and say what you needed to say.
However it seems that nowadays there is no middle ground between being polite and businesslike on one end of the spectrum and being completely rude on the other.
It’s as if it is less about business and more about personalities.
So, if I write an email that is to the point I’m considered rude, without even trying. I am not saying that writing an email for work has to be cold and austere however there should be a clear balance between cordial and informative, after all, that is the point, right?
All that said, I want to share with you all some pointers on how not to rattle the apple cart at work, when it comes to communicating via email.
Don’t Take it personal (all the time)
One of the things that I definitely think I may need to tell myself is not to read too much into what people write in work emails. Why? Because sometimes the writers are completely oblivious to the fact that the way they have expressed themselves in an email is rude and condescending.
These are usually the worst offenders because they are also the most confident. That said, it doesn’t mean that you should not call people out on their bad emails, especially if there is a pattern. Just because there are people who do not know that their method is flawed, doesn’t mean there aren’t those who deliberately write and share problematic messages. Know the difference and respond accordingly.
Miss me with the ‘Kindly’
Adding kindly to an email does not make it kinder, more pleasant or friendly!
I remember years ago reading an eye opening tip from my respected colleague and friend, Marie Berbick, about using the word kindly and the fact that it can be misconstrued as being rude and condescending and ever since I’ve been sensitive about using the word. In fact I judge people who use kindly as much as, if not more than I judge persons who have a weak handshake (don’t judge me).
Try not to use the word kindly in fact you don’t need to use it at all in your email. When making a request, adding ‘kindly’ won’t actually make it easier to swallow. Sadly, most people when sending requests for action, add the word, not realizing how demanding they appear, instead of nice as they intended.
Bad idea: ‘As per my last email…’
The famous ‘as per my last email’ is not only unnecessary but it’s very aggressive. Now I understand if you’re writing to a lender, someone who owes you money or even someone who is holding up your business and stressing you out but is it really necessary for an email to a colleague?
The milder version of this, ‘as per our discussion’ is a bit more palatable because it is actually factual. It acknowledges that “a discussion was had and we’re just bringing it to the email world” thereby providing context and there’s an understanding that we are communicating on this subject. Somehow it feels a bit less agreesive than ‘as per my last email’, for some reason.
But reminding me that you had sent an email previously is not absolutely necessary, and for the most part is an aggravation.
Cc me Not!
In many work environments it is considered the highest form of aggression when you copy not only a person’s manager but every other person in their department on an email. Why? because you are saying “hey I’m escalating this but I still want you to be a part of it” or “I’m trying to shame you because this is my opportunity to show you up.”
Now, it is sometimes necessary to copy additional people on an email, but must it be done in an attempt to speed up a process? Does it usually work? It can be an effective ‘tool’ but you must know when and how to use it in getting your job done.
The ‘Reply All’ Queens
This one personally ticks me off all the time and it goes beyond the professional world. Imagine, there are 30 people who have been copied on an email. The message doesn’t require every member of the group to respond to confirm anything it really was just an FYI. However there is always that one person who chooses to respond with something like “thank you” or “noted” and not only do they respond like that to the person who sent it they ‘reply all’. The ‘reply all’ button is your enemy use it sparingly, if ever.
(Don’t) Call Me
Unless it’s an extremely important emergency, then calling me to confirm that I received your email is not absolutely necessary or cute. It’s actually super annoying and there is a level of control that you’re trying exert over me because you expect that your email deserves immediate attention. I mean, of course I have nothing else to do so why wouldn’t I just action your request a few seconds after you sent your email?
Many of the issues around email etiquette can be solved with one simple solution: READING!
The reality is many of us don’t actually read and comprehend the messages that we receive and therefore we don’t adequately equip ourselves to properly respond. It’s not easy because not everyone is confident in expressing themselves in writing, but it comes with the territory.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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What started out as a one month blogging break eventually turned into a two month sabbatical.
The break became necessary as I used the time to manage some monumental changes in my life.
By far the biggest change that took place over the past two months was planning and implementing my move from one living space to another. Leaving the nest is a big deal because it is a meticulous gathering of your entire physical life from one space to the next and it is equal parts emotional and tiring as you strive to jump from one rock to another, while carrying a bunch of stuff you have acquired along the way.
The whole experience paired with some other observations, have given me an opportunity to focus on change and why it is so vital for myself and all of us to accept.
I often hear the statement: “The only constant thing in life is change” but right now, I could wax poetic for hours about change and all the wonders of newness!
“The only constant thing in life is change”
Change is the fertilizer that keeps me growing and every time I get an opportunity to evolve I take it.
I have always been willing to accept change, because many times in my life, I had no choice but being willing to accept and acclimatize to change, always meant looking for that silver lining.
There are many people who perceive me to be happy-go-lucky, positive and optimistic, and for the most part, their perception is correct, however that attitude is grounded in my willingness to always deal with changes as they come.
People are People
By far the most challenging changes I usually have to deal with is the shifting sands of loyalty from some of those closest to me, whether friends or family. It is always difficult when the actions of some people in your life cause you to take a closer look at them and how they fit into your life.
Where most people seem to have a problem is when they have to make a decision to change course in a relationship, because culturally some of us have been taught to hold on until something detrimental happens that proves that the worse has occurred.
I have adopted a simple principle when it comes to dealing with changes in the nature of my relationships. This includes anything that changes my perception of said relationship and the person – “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Oprah Winfrey
This mantra has allowed me to really see the people who are part of my life, and acknowledge them accordingly. Sometimes, what I considered “change” was not in fact a shift in behaviour, just another opportunity to really see a person as they are.
I am always thankful for those opportunities and whenever, upon reflection I ponder on why or how someone changed, I always seek to discover what was always right before my eyes.
Roll, Roll, Roll
Changes come into our lives in many shapes and forms and are often unexpected. Unplanned changes appear most daunting because the possible outcomes are always in the shadows.
For example, changing jobs years ago was a joy, because of the possibilities that awaited me, plus an improved salary offer. But the unknown element did more than just scare me, it served to inspire me to not only give my all and really savour the opportunity to learn something completely new.
From that experience, I’ve learned that the inverse of my fear and anxiety regarding a challenge will be excitement, satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment. It can be no other way! Why go through a challenge and not come out triumphant on the other side?
Change is Good
Finally, there comes a time when change becomes necessary, because it takes us to the next phase. It’s impossible to get to that unknown place, without accepting and adapting.
I know many people who are afraid of change because it makes them uncomfortable and disoriented. But in many ways, discomfort usually means that a change is taking place, that more often than not, will be to your benefit.
Discomfort is often a prelude to growth and that’s important to all of us, but whatever the change, whatever the challenge, just Keep Moving Forward!
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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It’s been said that money makes the world go round, but mis-use of it can bring your entire world crashing down.
Case in point, online shopping is so super convenient but left unchecked, it can create a permanent hole in your pocket and your financial future.
Money pitfalls will happen and recovering is not impossible but it takes discipline and sacrifice. In this second part to my look at figuring out finances, I speak specifically about debt and some ways I have dealt with it in the past.
Usual Disclaimer: I am NOT a financial advisor, not even close. In addition, I’m sure you may’ve have read some of these tips somewhere else, however, whatever I have added here is based on my own tried and tested experience.
Pay off high interest debt first
This piece of advice is standard fare on any personal finance blog worth its mettle and it’s GOOD!
Things we consider bad debt – Credit cards, the hire purchase agreement for the sofa that was too good to miss, the high interest personal loan that you took out because you needed that ‘thing’- all are considered bad debt. They are bad because they are usually attained for items that are not gaining value and have ridiculous interest rates and repayment terms.
So if you have three pieces of debt lined up, your car loan, credit card debt, and a personal loan from your employer at a sweet rate of about 5 %, which of the three would you put major priority in getting rid of first?
The answer is obvious… Credit Card! Not only is that bad debt but depending on the interest rate and the amount owed, you could be adding an astronomical amount of money to the existing debt each month in the form of interest payments. Get rid of it by paying more than the minimum balance and most importantly, STOP adding to the debt.
Refinance your student loan
Many years ago, I was blessed with a loan from the Student’s Loan Bureau (SLB). It was an important means to an end and I was thankful. I thought they were a bit unreasonable at times, but the alternative – loan from a bank – was not an option. Personal loans weren’t being thrown at you then, as they are nowadays.
After receiving my loan and finishing college, I now had to start the process of repaying it and I had known this from the get go. When I got my first job, I was about 5 months over the grace period that the SLB provides after graduation. I recall making a momentous first payment. It was then that I realized that I had already accrued some late fees.
Well for some reason – youthful exuberance maybe – I completely missed out on making any more payments for almost a year. Life got in the way, I guess. Anyway, after a very scary call from an SLB representative, I got my act together and I agreed to salary deductions. However because of my malfeasance, there was still those pesky late fees plus arrears on my loan. It seems like a pit that I couldn’t dig myself out of, until someone I knew who had insight into the operations of the organisation, suggested to me that I should get my loan refinanced.
Refinancing basics
Basically, refinancing is an option where they recalculate your entire loan, missed payments and late fees included as well as all principal and interest that you would’ve had to pay, into a new total.
You would then sign a new agreement with the SLB, along with your guarantors to make this recalculated payment, via salary deduction. That saved my financial life and set me on a track to paying off my SLB, which I did in 2010.
I recall asking my loans officer at the time, why they didn’t tell us that we could have our loans refinanced and he replied “because we would be doing that all day.” #TheMoreYouKnow
Shop for cost not just preference
If you are planning to buy a car, what do you look at first?
Your favourite car or the vehicle that fits within the budget you have set aside for a car?
Rule of thumb is to look at the one that fits within your car budget not just your dream car, especially if you will have to borrow a substantial amount to get it. I know that many people say that it’s ok to purchase a car as long as you can afford the monthly payment.
But being able to ‘afford’ the monthly payment is relative, especially if this affordability is looked at in isolation. What of the cost of tires, servicing every 5000 km, GAS? Breathing room is good, especially if you’re not paid to drive – as a travelling officer. Apply this to most other things, but particularly big ticket items.
Save something
I think we get so caught up in the conversation about interest rates and making your money work for you that we forget the simple power and purpose of saving, period.
Interest rates are a bonus for an activity that will hopefully help you achieve a longer term goal.
The concept of saving is simple… spend way less, than you retain. That retention will help you in many other ways, just don’t touch that money.
I know a good interest rate is ideal but I also know that keeping more of my money than I spend is even more important and beneficial. So make a decision about your income, whatever the amount and save some of it.
Invest when you’re ready
Once you have saved up some money, consider levelling up and start to invest. It is not just for ‘rich’ people either, as some of us have been led to believe.
Now is the best time ever to invest on the Jamaica stock exchange, and the recent surge in Initial Public Offerings (IPOs) has created the perfect opportunity for new investors to get their feet wet.
Randy Rowe over at Every Mickle has some great insights and resources on investing. This article is a good way to dive in as it sets you up with some of the fundamentals of how to get started in investing in Jamaica.
I only wish that an investment app like Acorns, which is based in the US can become a reality in Jamaica soon and make investing even easier.
There ends my literal two cents. I just hope that if there is anything that can help you be better, it will stick. If you missed part 1 of this article, read it here
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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