Category: Life

  • Digital Declutter: How to cleanup your email inbox for good!

    Digital Declutter: How to cleanup your email inbox for good!

     We are at the start of a new year and it’s as good a time as any to declutter different areas of our lives. For the month of January, I will be sharing a few insights on how we can all refresh our outlooks and spaces. I will begin this process with a digital decluttering exercise for email.

     

    cleanup mail

    Do you dread opening your primary email app because of the amount of unread messages that are there? Have you simply turned off your notifications because you’ve lost control of all the messages that have flooded your inbox and you never got around to checking them?

                                 

    Don’t despair there’s hope and with simple proactive steps you can get your email lives under control. It is overwhelming enough dealing with work emails, so it is understandable if your personal email inbox is a mess.

    I got smart about email management a few years ago when after having my Gmail account for just over 13 years (early adopter) I realized that I was almost out of space. This surprised me for a number of reasons as one of the primary draws for Gmail back in the day was the fact that their storage was almost infinite (jokes).

    email cleanup

    One advantage I’ve had is that every time gmail added a new feature, I did my best to understand what it was, how it worked and how it could impact how I used the service. So if I realized that it worked against my typical email behaviour, I would just ignore it.

    Disclaimer, most of my specific email decluttering tips are applicable to gmail users, which may actually not matter much seeing that when gmail entered the market in 2005, most other providers gradually started to emulate its functionalities and even layout.

    And for those of you who might ask, why not just buy additional email storage space if I run out? Well if you are a power user and that’s something you want to do, go ahead. But as for me and my house, we declutter and use what we have, for free!

     

    Check notifications

    This first tip has nothing to do with your inbox at all and is one of the more proactive steps you can take in dealing with email clutter. When you join any new social network or app, first thing you should do is check the notifications settings. Most services allow you to determine the type and frequency of correspondence they send you.

    For example, Facebook allows you to send push notifications to their app or on the website itself for most things. Otherwise you can choose to only receive emails for specific things relating to your account. This also applies to other platforms like Twitter, so you can basically set it up so that you only receive important emails from these platforms that have to do with your account security and nothing else. This is convenient and prevents some of that unnecessary email clutter to begin with.

     

    Remove Email Categories

    In 2013 google introduced the promotions tab to gmail as part of a set of automatic categories that would organise incoming email into different segments/tabs. It was their attempt to help us all make our email inboxes feel a bit lighter. The automatically generated promotions and social tabs have since become a standard part of any new gmail account created and typically siphons off emails from social networks or subscription emails from mass mailers etc.

    As soon as the feature was introduced I ditched it by going into my inbox settings and removing it. I have done the same for every other gmail account I have created since. See how to remove them here.

    Why?

    Because, if important emails come in and go into these tabs, I’ll probably not take the time to click and sort through them. Secondly, I prefer to see and know what I am getting in my email all in one place. So instead of going through, basically three different inboxes, created with the use of these tabs, I simply check one. A lot less work and a more streamlined way of dealing with message organisation.

    Ditch the tabs!

    Unsubscribe from unwanted emails

    A few years ago I started to receive random emails from companies I never subscribed to. For a while it weirded me out because I honestly thought someone was deliberately adding me to different company email lists (probably). As I painstakingly unsubscribed from every new company welcoming me to their service, I also started to take a closer look at the other subscriptions that I had actually signed up for.

    When it came time to clear space I realized that while these emails may not count for much in terms of storage space, they were still clutter that added up, overtime.

    So I started looking at the pattern of company emails I was receiving to get a better sense of the volume of messages and it was shocking!

    During peak shopping seasons for example, there were companies who would send me up to two emails per day for two weeks straight.

    It was ridiculous, so those subscriptions had to go!

    I started to take an even closer look at email behaviour from companies I wanted to receive emails from and adjusted my subscriptions where possible or unsubscribed completely. Some company emails allow you to select the frequency at which you receive them such as once monthly or every now and then.

    Unsubscribe to your heart’s content and stop some of those incessant and probably unread messages. The reality is, we are constantly changing and sometimes, the need you had for subscribing to some of these services has passed and let’s be real, as much as you would want to, you are not going to go back and read through all those past emails.

    The ‘unsubscribe link’ can usually be found at the bottom of most emails you receive from companies and is a pretty standard feature. In fact, if you are regularly receiving emails from a company that does not contain an unsubscribe link, that should be cause for concern.

    Delete old messages and conversations

    This tip is a follow on to the previous about your subscriptions and also takes it a step further with how to deal with other messages.

    So you have identified emails that you want to unsubscribe from and you have gone ahead and unsubscribed, now is your chance to remove all that old stuff. A quick and easy way to get rid of these messages is to temporarily create a filter. The email filters are a neat way to choose what happens to emails when they come into your inbox and allows you to choose the specific parameters which can be either an email address, a name or specific words and/or phrases.

    Once you choose the identifier and you create the filter you then choose what happens to messages that match the criteria. Gmail provides a number of options (shown below) that you can choose which include, forwarding the messages, labelling it, sending it to categories, or deleting it.

    email cleanup

    See how to create an email filter in gmail here.

    In this case, the option would be to delete the messages. However there is an additional option that allows you to apply the filter to matching conversations that are already within your inbox. In one fell swoop, you will instantly remove years of subscription emails, instead of painstakingly going through and deleting in batches of 100 which is the maximum you would be able to manually select on the gmail desktop using search.

    When you are done, delete the filter then go into your trash and permanently remove the messages.

    An additional pro tip, make this an annual thing by routinely removing these subscription emails at the end of each year.

    Removing other Messages and Conversations

    Now using the process I just outlined you can go ahead and remove entire histories from your email inbox. So emails from those old relationships, friendships or pesky work related items that you may have sent to yourself or had sent to your email, just because? Create filters by name or email, and remove them all!

     email cleanup

    I briefly relived some very painful moments when I went through long past emails and removed entire conversations, but it was the right thing to do.

    It was also surprising the amount of space decade old chain messages took up in my mailbox.

    To get rid of these, create a filter that picks up on emails based on their size that will bring up all messages that contain attachments over a certain size and delete them instantly to free up space.

     

    Delete old sent messages

    Here’s a revelation: We are usually the ones who create the junk that we carry around. The baggage and the waste that we hang on to, was indeed, of our own making. So what can we do?

    Purge!

    Go through your sent messages and remove those emails with attachments that you sent. The sent message search box in gmail is marvelous and allows you to search emails for different periods or one set by you. In addition you can search specifically for emails with attachments and also the type of attachments.

    You would be surprised how many emails with large attachments you have sent that are clogging your inbox right now. Go through it and remove all that junk.

    Setup auto forwards

    Finally, another way to reduce and even prevent unnecessary email is by using filters to forward messages to other email accounts. I have a primary email account but I also have other email accounts that I use. There are times when based on commitments such as clubs or other activities I participate in, there’s need for large quantities of emails to be sent.

    For example, as a Toastmaster I have played various roles which often times require the use of high volumes of emails that are regularly sent. I use my main email for membership purposes but sometimes this address is also shared with local and regional Toastmasters teams.

    Instead of attempting to go through the confusion of notifying all these teams of the new email, I simply create a filter and have all emails coming from the team forwarded to a designated Toastmasters gmail account that I created separately. In addition, I also create a rule to delete all forwarded emails from my main inbox.

    Visit here to see how to automatically forward gmail messages to another account.

    Final word

    I hope this information will assist you in decluttering your email and digital life. Let me know if you find any of this useful!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • Taking Care of What Matters

    Taking Care of What Matters

    It’s taken me a while to write this blog. Since my last post in March of this year, I have drafted several others, which I never got around to publishing. The timing has just never felt right based on everything that was happening.

    And though I know that COVID and everything that the pandemic has wrought is a completely valid excuse, I’m also keeping myself accountable where it matters.

    Early on I realized that there was an underlying and unspoken anxiety that accompanied this pandemic and affected most of us, regardless of whether we actually contracted the virus or not.

    It was just the tension around all the uncertainty that the pandemic brought with it and especially the upheaval it’s caused to the lives of so many people. Being expected to function, like normal and perform at the highest level at work and in life, is not as easy as it seems.

    Awakening

    My own eye opener came just about 7 months after the beginning of this whole thing, when I started to feel generally unwell. No, I hadn’t contracted COVID but all that pent up anxiety and the lethargy it set off within me, finally caught up.

    self care

    For some people, they have been coping by exercise and generally making an effort to be more active. That however, has not been my coping strategy and instead I simply threw myself into work and tried to be as occupied as possible.

    While I remained aware of the underlying anxiety, I never fully owned up to the ripple effects it was causing in other areas of my life which mushroomed over time.

    So when I finally decided to visit my doctor and I received a blood pressure reading that was too high for comfort, I knew that something had to give. The visit also forced me to acknowledge that I had not been sleeping as well as I should. The result of all this was a cascade of small maladies that pretty much meant that I was doing myself a disservice, the opposite of self-care.

    Getting There

    I’m already taking corrective measures which includes taking proactive steps to get better quality sleep, I’ve altered my eating habits, started an exercise routine in the gym and I now make deliberate efforts to actually relax more.

    That said, I have also started to take stock of some of the other aspects of my life that I can control. There are a few things that I have become much more intolerant of during this time.

    Protecting my Peace

    Now more than ever I am fully invested in protecting my peace from people, places, emotions and things that could possibly heighten my stress levels or otherwise make me uncomfortable.

    I’m a bit more sensitive to people in my life who selfishly try to fill my well with their issues while never considering or even seeking to find out about the load I may be carrying. I am a limited resource and therefore, I will not allow others to use me up.

    Self-care is as much about eating well and relaxing as it is about ensuring that the energy that I surround myself with is just right.

    Reading has always been escapism for me, but now even more so because my mind seems to always be ON. Slowly plodding my way through books has been a respite and though sometimes television time steals some of that time, I’m recalibrating the balance needed.

    Patience all around

    Probably the greatest lesson I’ve absorbed this year, is the importance and value of being patient and gentle with myself, more tolerant even. With the world just doing its best to survive in this very weird and troubling time, it does not work in my favour to torture myself about my perceived shortcomings.

    self care

    I did a few online courses and they were helpful but this idea that I needed to use this moment to become something else, betrayed the fact that just by doing my job and so much more, during a difficult time, is in itself an accomplishment.

    I’m happy to be on the mend but the important thing about this shift is that it feels like it’s the big one that I will actually stick with.

    Pray me up.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • When Life Gives you Limes…

    When Life Gives you Limes…

    By a certain age we all eventually realize that life is a cycle of actions, reactions and consequences. It also becomes crystal clear that there will be moments when we are on top of a mountain, taking in the fresh air and enjoying the fantastic view. Other times, we’re stuck deep inside a ravine, strapped inside the badly damaged SUV we call our lives.

    It isn’t always cute or pain-free but we soldier through because, it’s worth it!

    Thankfully, through these repeated hills and valleys, high and lows, we humans have developed effective and sometimes unhealthy coping mechanisms that help us to deal with trauma and general shocks.

    Corona Time

    The world is collectively going through one of those shocks at this very moment of my writing this piece. COVID-19  is ravaging sections of the world and has caused levels of upheaval in normal, modern life, only seen during the worst natural disasters and in the previous century, during a World War.

    Through it all one of the most consistent elements of the unfolding crisis has been the flow of information from every possible source. From the constant stream of consciousness that is Twitter, to cable news channels, press conferences, and just people generally spreading misinformation and conspiracies via whatsapp (never gets old!).

    I have been particularly intrigued by the dual role authorities have to play in dealing with such a crisis. Sharing pertinent information to citizens of the country while remaining calm, and reassuring everyone that everything will be, ok?

    Crisis Best Practice

    I want to believe that every student of public relations or communications, such as myself have at least come across the seminal case of the Tylenol Poisoning spree of 1982. The unsolved case, which unfolded with the death of 7 people, saw bottles of Tylenol pain killer being laced with cyanide, placed on store shelves and sold to unsuspecting customers. In it’s aftermath, major changes were made to how over-the-counter drugs were packaged, labelled and handled.

    The case became a masterclass in best practice for Public Relations however, due to the immediacy and forthrightness of the response from the leadership of Johnson & Johnson, the parent company of the brand.

    I immediately saw the hallmarks of that case and juxtaposed them with how the current pandemic is being handled.

    Fact is some officials/countries have been doing well and others… not so much. Somewhere in the middle of it all I have been able to see how even these big decisions can be useful to my own life. When it comes to crisis management, dealing with it is no different when you are a country, a large company or a person.

    My insights…

    Be honest … the first time

     

    Your life is a mess, you are in too much debt, your relationship isn’t working out and even worse, you hate your job. One way to deal with these crises is to completely ignore them or choose to be consoled by false facts. Whatever the excuse, if it prevents you from reaching the correct conclusion about your life and circumstance, it won’t help you.

    The moment you start telling the truth about your crises to yourself (and probably your therapist) you will be closer to your breakthrough. The resolution to every major crisis begins with openness and honesty, the first time. Everything else is a non-starter. It’s also important to ensure that your stakeholder(s) are  aware of the crisis. Those closest to you, who you consider dearer than just family may be those important parts of your support system who will be there for you during that crisis. Their support and confidence can be lifesaving.

    Know the problem

     

    Struggles come in all shapes and sizes, it helps if you can identify the one that is affecting your life so that you can address it with urgency. At the level of a large organisation, it will be necessary to ascertain what the crisis is, its root cause and gather as much details as possible about its depth and ramifications. Only by fully understanding the issue, can you be able to even begin to address it.

     Think Solutions

     

    If you’re focusing on the solutions, then maybe, just maybe, you will have less attention to spare for the crisis at hand. Attention a.k.a. ‘worry’ saps your energy and is not useful. Being solution-oriented during a crisis is pivotal, especially as it helps to refocus your energies towards identifying a positive outcome.  Finding a solution to the main problem, putting it into action and arriving at a resolution in the quickest possible time can be the difference between a short term hiccup and long term, permanent damage to reputation and bottom line.

    Chaos is a Ladder

     

    It may seem rather Machiavellian, but consider this – there are people living through this troubled time in history and even now, they are finding opportunities that will serve their lives well, when it is over. In fact it was Machiavelli who said “Never waste the opportunity offered by a good crisis.”

    As scary as the crisis and emergency may be, steal yourself a moment to consider and identify new avenues for exploration. It could be directly related to the problem at hand, or another solution that emerges. At the more granular and personal level, there are  things we ignore in the normal cut and thrust of life, that we should pay more attention to, during a crisis. For example, it was during the Great Plague of London between 1665 and 1666 that Sir Isaac Newton was able to produce the foundation of some of his greatest work.

     Lessons Learned

     

    Finally, know that the reckoning for every crisis will come and during that period it will be necessary to consider the lessons learned. One of the greatest failures we make from crises of all kind is to ignore the important lessons. Noting things that went wrong and how these could’ve been prevented, helps greatly. The old adage about learning from mistakes in order to not repeat them is true. Note them, write them down, record them and take corrective actions for the future. This is the only fool proof way of moving on from a crisis for the better, otherwise it would have all been for naught. The world will learn a lot from the current global crisis and the changes to come will likely alter the course of human existence for a long time.

    We are currently in crisis mode but that will end, eventually and if we’re lucky enough to make it out un-phased we will have stories to tell and lessons to learn. In the meantime, make that lemonade and have your fill.

    crisis

    Let me know in the comments how you handle crises.
    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • Wake up and Live! – How I’m living in 2020

    Wake up and Live! – How I’m living in 2020

    Wake Up!

    I woke up one morning and it was the end of 2019 and for the first time in years, I chose not to ring in the new year at a party or event. Instead, I went to bed for a change.

    The year of clear (er) vision, 2020, has been an interesting one so far. I fully counted January as December 2.0 because for me, it was an opportunity to tie up loose ends of the year past. It was in that process that I was able to set some clear goals for the rest of the year and immediately start acting on them.

    I also spent some time looking at the goals I had set for myself in 2019 and for a quick second I was caught up in the idea of how I failed at accomplishing some of those only to realize that on the other side of failure is an opportunity for growth.

    For example, I didn’t complete my must read list of books from last year – boo hoo – but I did make an admirable dent in it. It also seemed that for every deliberate thing that I had set out to do and not fully accomplish, I was able to focus on something else and begin working on that, such as finally opening that stock market account.

    It can be testing telling yourself every day that – ‘I am enough’ – when the world constantly questions that.

    Am I really?

    For real?

    Are you ok?

    And that’s why sometimes I have to sit and really ask myself “Are you ok?”

    That self check-in has given me space to come to terms with how I am really feeling because if it’s one thing I know, not many people are genuinely asking me if I’m ok. For those that do, it is usually heartfelt and a real question, which I appreciate.

    In the new year, I’ve set new goals and I am extremely excited about the challenges and plans I have in store. Specifically, all the new things I am going to learn and put into action. For example, after a little over two years teaching, it’s refreshing being a student again and able to dive into the unknown.

    We’re now almost three months into 2020 and I have a pretty good road map for how I want to make this revolution around the sun a winner for myself in all aspects.

    Taking Care of Me

    There are so many ways I have committed to taking care of myself in the past but one of the primary ways has always been to indulge in whatever my heart desires (mostly), while my pocket could afford. That has proven to be a double edged sword and I now realize more than ever that taking care of myself is more than just a self-care regimen of a good face mask and a pedicure. It also includes conscientiously doing things that won’t cause me unnecessary regret later (hey bad debt). To really take care of myself, means not sabotaging my future with immediate satisfaction that will cost something important in the future, such as my health, wealth, sustenance or sanity. That being said, working on it!

    Focus on solutions

    There is ALOT of stuff that goes wrong every day that risks bogging me down inside my head:

    “Am I being a good friend? Am I being a good son, Am I doing my job well enough?”

    But I’ve taken to focusing on solutions when most of these questions pop up, because in almost every scenario, there is a solution to addressing these internal rumblings. And it usually surrounds choosing the affirmative and moving from there. So where the answer to any of those questions is – “No” the answer is – “I will do better today”. It also means clearing space in my mind and environment for the good to flourish. Good Vibes really make a big difference.

    Keep Moving

    As a follow on to being solutions oriented, it is important to just keep moving. You never get through anything if you don’t continue to move! So just keep going. If it means smelling the roses for a few and taking a breath, do it. What I have learned is that regardless of what I am dealing with, forward motion always takes me into the next chapter, no matter how difficult. Beyond the metaphoric though, I want to keep moving physically as well. I’ve come to realize how important being physical is to my mental and overall health, especially when I was not able to, so now more than ever I’m on a mission to get it done.

    Learning Never Ends

    One of the promises I made to myself this year was to learn as many new things as I could, specifically, things I’ve always wanted to know. And I am pursuing this all for the sake of gaining new knowledge. I have begun and it has been truly rewarding and fulfilling. My mind has opened up to so many new concepts and world’s that I could’ve never imagined before. It also extends to my ability to adapt to the new knowledge and manifesting it in my life. I am able.

    Baked into all of this is a renewed commitment to consistency, something that I have always struggled with (for certain things). I’m awake and I am ready to get it done!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

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  • It’s my Birthday! Let’s get nostalgic

    It’s my Birthday! Let’s get nostalgic

    Birthday Tings

    Today marks two important milestones, my blogs’ second year of active existence and my Birthday!!! It was no accident that my blog was launched on my birthday 2 years ago as I needed a momentous occasion to present it to the world and make it live.

    It’s been two years that have seen some major changes in my life, all for the best and thankfully, I’ve been able to chronicle it all using this space on the internets. My understanding of the blogging process has also matured and my commitment to consistency has remained intact, even if what that looks like has changed, overtime.

    I’m going to use this opportunity to do a quick rundown of some of the interesting insights and revelations I’ve made, through this blog over the past couple of years, by taking a look back at a few of the posts that for whatever reason have been memorable.

     

    Favourites to date

    birthday

    Over the past two years I’ve been fortunate to write about a lot of different topics. After all, the way my blog is set up allows me to venture across different topics across various interests. But I have two particular favourite s out of all I’ve written.

    My first ever blog post “35 Lessons in 35 years” remains one of my all-time favourite pieces I’ve written, not just because it was the first but because it also serves as a definitive statement on who I am and what I am about. I don’t think I’ve ever opened up this much to any one, much less to the public, all at once.

    My other favourite is a little blog I published in November 2017 entitled, “You can do Whatever you Like”  which I actual go back and read every now and then as a reminder that life is about doing the things that bring me joy, in whatever realm, no excuses.

     

    Stuff I Love that you probably missed

    birthday

    I’ve come to realize that I write as much for myself as I do for readers and sometimes, there are just ideas I find so hilariously intriguing I can’t help but write something about it. This was the case in August 2018, while on vacation, when I was inspired to write this sleeper of a blog “Five songs to NEVER play at a wedding”. To this day I still find the pretext funny as the situations around a wedding and possibly playing the ‘wrong’ song can go in weird places.

     

    Biggest Surprise

    birthday

    Probably the biggest surprise in the past two years of writing has been the response to two pieces I wrote about my experience selling my old car and buying a new one in Jamaica. The series is entitled “Things to consider when buying and selling a car in Jamaica” parts 1  and 2.

    The articles consistently turn up in searches in google and drives traffic to the site, so it is clear that people are buying and selling cars and now have a resource to get more information. That makes me happy, because the reason I wrote the blogs was because I couldn’t find any information about the process.

    Statement Piece

    birth

    Because I can write about whatever I want, boldness is expected as a standard and there are a lot of avenues I could take to be bold. But I responded to a call to highlight ‘the gay agenda’ that was launched by J-Flag in February 2018. The blog entitled “Bridging the Gap: The Real Agenda” allowed me to simplify and present in my own way the perspective of LGBT Jamaica.

    What connected

    birth

    I guess we can all use some encouragement when it comes to our spending habits, specifically around Christmas time. That’s the only explanation I have for how people responded to the blog post published in December 2017 entitled “4 things you should NOT do with your December salary/bonus”.  Readers flocked to the piece which I consider tongue-in-cheek but with a few nuggets of wisdom and I appreciate that.

    As I celebrate my birthday, another trek around the sun, I’m supremely thankful for life and all the opportunities that come with it. I’ve taken this quick look back as I continue to chart my way forward. Thank you for being part of the journey, for reading, commenting, sharing and enjoying. It means a lot.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Six surefire tips to help you to read more!

    Six surefire tips to help you to read more!

    We are just over half way through 2019 and what a year it’s been. Time has gone by pretty fast and I’m realising that I have fallen slightly behind on my reading. As you may recall, in January I highlighted my Must Read Books for 2019 which consists of personal selections that I believe will help make my year better for reading them.

    Life has gotten in the way and while there are delays, I’m still pressing on, one book at a time and having fun!

    A recent speech I delivered at my Toastmasters club inspired me to consider those of you who are so caught up with life, your new year’s resolution to ‘read more’ is slipping through your fingers.

    I shared some tips to an enthusiastic audience of club members and guests who appeared to concur with my ideas about how best we can incorporate more reading into our daily lives.

    Reading maketh the …

    Lifehack.org says reading everyday can help with stress reduction, mental stimulation, memory improvement among other benefits. So beyond the idea of just reading to be considered astute, it’s actually good for our health.

    It sure helps me to escape whenever I need a fresh perspective or just to get some new information on something I didn’t know before, so imagine the wonders it can do for you!

    I remember years ago I used to see posters for the get caught reading campaign that was launched in 1999 by the Association of American Publishers. The ads usually featured a celebrity or otherwise notable person, reading a book. It was iconic and let me know that reading, just for fun, was cool (I was that guy who got genuinely excited when I heard that a book fair was being organised).

    Without further ado, here are six ways you can discover or rediscover your love for reading books or content, that is not work or school related.

    Start Simple

    The easiest way to start anything is to just begin and for many of us, consuming information online is as simple as it gets. Do you have a blog that you like to read or a magazine or newspaper website that you read on occasion?

    You may be reading more than you realize right now, if you’re like me and you read just about any interesting article you come across online.

    If your answer is yes then congrats because that reading counts as a small step toward reading even more! The key is to start where you are, so it may mean reading that free food magazine that you pick up at your favourite café or the newspaper. No need to feel ashamed because you are not yet ready to complete a 300 page novel.

    Before you know it, you will want to read more than just the information available in articles and magazines.

    Re-read a personal favourite

    People who have not read for pleasure consistently, beyond their school days, can often tell you with little asking the name of the first book they ever read cover to cover.

    If you can recall that literature book that you remember reading cover to cover and enjoying to the max, then maybe rereading it is the perfect way to get you back into the game.

    A good book is always worth rereading and what better way to ease your way into reading longer form content than by reading something familiar.

    Try out a short story collection

    Short story collections are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get and that’s the great thing! If you keep a short story anthology by your bed, you can go on a different adventure every night.

    These stories can span as little as two pages or as much as 20 and the great thing about a short story collection is you can read them in any order you wish. As the stories are not connected you don’t have to commit to reading a particular story just because it’s next in the book.

    Read books on subjects that you actually LIKE!

    There are thousands of ‘self-help’ books published each year on topics ranging from how to be your best self to building wealth. As a broad category, I don’t like self-help books, in fact, I don’t like reading them and guess what, I don’t feel any way about that and neither should you!

    I think many of us have been lead to believe that there are some books that you must read and unfortunately, more often than not, they fall in the category of self-help or motivational. I am amenable to reading books within this niche, but a very narrow segment that provides guidance through story telling or acts like a textbook.

    That’s just me however, because maybe that’s all you will be able to read and love, and that’s ok too. My point is, when you are ready to read a book of 200 pages or more, make it something that you love and truly want to read, not something you think you should, just because.

    Choosing books because of reasons other than love is one of the biggest blockers to people reading, and for the most part, we don’t even realise it. But it makes sense, if the book can’t hold your attention, then why read it?

    Get close to other readers

    If you have a friend who loves to read and is always reading, then stick close to that energy and not only will your interest in reading probably grow but you may also be inspired to model some of their behaviour. For example, a friend who always finds time to read is bound to have some useful tips to share on how you can carve out time from your busy schedule to do the same.

    Go a step further and join or form a book club, with friends, or other associates or even with new friends (strangers). Book clubs are a great way to not just hold yourself accountable when it comes to reading but they also engender camaraderie around books and the act of reading that is bound to keep you engaged and your eye on the prize. Imagine a group of people as excited about chapter 2 of a book you are reading, as you. You all you just can’t wait to have that conversation and relive the moment. Book clubs can do that and so much more. The African proverb says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” and a book club exemplifies this perfectly.

    Set a realistic personal reading goal and smash it!

    Making a personal reading commitment shouldn’t be a stressful undertaking. It is something fun that you want to do, at a pace that is realistic but also pushing you out of your comfort zone a little at a time.

    I set a goal of reading one book a month for 2019, even though I’m aware that I can read much more than that. Setting this goal gives me breathing room, while allowing me to focus on a core set of books.

    It’s also realistic and nothing excites me more than ticking off a personal goal once achieved.

    Here’s hoping that these tips can help you on this journey to reading more and having fun.

    Let me know some of the ways you ensure that you get your reading done!

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Subscribe to the blog here  and share your content suggestions here.

    Kevin

  • Sorry doesn’t fix everything

    Sorry doesn’t fix everything

    I have this unwritten rule when it comes to my relationships – personal, professional or otherwise:

    “The more often that someone has to tell me ‘sorry’ is the more I have to consider the merit of our relationship.”

    Experience and history has taught me that if there’s that one person in your life who always has to be apologising for something, it may be time to let them go.

    Obviously this rule isn’t absolute and I’m quite sensitive to nuance, however I am guided by this principle when it comes to people’s behaviour.

    I learned this lesson from my last serious relationship, a LONG time ago… You’re with someone who after a while needs to constantly be reassuring and apologising to you for some malfeasance, then it may be time to take a serious look at what’s really going on.

    The thing is it may not even be about the person. That person may for all intents and purposes be doing their best, within the scope of what their ‘best’ is.

    Regardless, even at your worst, their best may not be simpatico with what you need in your life.

    Password: sorry

    Professionally, the same applies. If someone is constantly messing up, to the point where they are always apologising, over time, I become less invested in that association or its credibility. It’s about trust and reliability.

    My problem with it is persons use the word sorry as a password that is loaded with expectation. Some of the common expectations are:

    “You should forget about what I did”

    “It should never ever be mentioned”

    “We should act like it never happened”

    “It’s not reasonable for you to expect this to be a lesson”

    “I’m sorry but please don’t remind me why I should do better”

    Some people will say sorry grudgingly but really don’t mean it. They only utter the word because they realize that it is the socially acceptable salve for whatever, circumstance they may have caused to occur.

    And worse still are the offenders who should apologise but never do.

    Most annoying are the persons who are willing to say sorry, over and over again, while repeating the same infraction, over and over again.

    Showing UP

    The Jamaican saying is ‘take sleep mark death’ and I take that to heart when it comes to people’s consistency.

    At the end of the day, it is about how people show up in our lives. Showing up is a term I’ve become more familiar with as I get older. It has taken on added importance, because once you’re out of school and you become an adult, people have to make a much more deliberate effort to mean anything in your life by ‘Showing Up’.

    How many times have you had that good ‘work’ friend and the moment you leave or they leave that place of employment the ‘friendship’ dies?

    The things they do and say to make their presence known in your life, are important. If that continues to be problematic, then gird your loins.

    This whole thing about showing up I’ve come to realize is also important because the people who are consistent, supportive, unwavering and real, tend to be the ones I value.

    It’s the process of knowing and appreciating these people that allows me to let those who don’t show up fall by the wayside.

    It’s all connected.

    Forgiveness

    I’m still learning to navigate forgiveness and I have grown and gotten better at managing expectations of people. Maturity has afforded me more insight on how to deal with people. I now know that it is possible to forgive but own the fact that the person is not going to hold the same place in my life.

    That is absolutely ok, if the situation necessitates it.

    Too often, in the name of forgiveness and maturity, we are forced to play the role of ‘forgive and forget’ and act like it didn’t happen.

    Accepting the imperfections of being human, I get. People won’t get it right all the time, and that’s fine. However there’s a line that needs to be drawn in the sand when you realize that people just aren’t trying anymore.

    Honesty and Communication

    You know, as hard as it may be, all this ‘saying sorry’ can largely be prevented if people choose to be open communicators and commit to honesty. It sounds simple but I realize it’s difficult, because honesty is not as easy as those “Say it with your chest” tweets would have us all believe.

    It’s uncomfortable being honest all the time, because it usually means that someone else’s feelings may get hurt. On the flip side, being honest guarantees that persons are always aware of where you are.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • Moving out and Up

    Moving out and Up

    Just over a year ago I made a big step and finally moved out of my childhood home. I alluded to that change here but only now have I been able to fully digest how significant the move was.

    It is one of the best things I have ever done and continues to teach me new things about myself that living ‘at home’ could never.

    The simple act of moving out also caused seismic shifts in my life in other ways because it dramatically changed the way certain people related to me, some for the better and others for worse.

    Love Matters

    Probably the biggest benefit I have experienced so far, has been a renewal of my relationship with my Mom. Living away from her, has made me more aware of her mortality, in a way that I wasn’t before.

    I used to see my mother everyday while I was still at home but in reality, we rarely spoke, because I made it a point of duty to reside in my own little world, consumed by my own interests.

    Now, everything is different because, when I realized that I won’t be seeing her everyday it became urgent that I at least speak with her as often as I could. No week goes by that I don’t see her and even more than before, we have built-in time that we spend going out and doing things together. That, I can treasure because the degree of separation let me know that valuing her now is more important than ever.

    Designing Reality

    Who knew that designing your own space could be so exciting? Over the past year, I’ve been able to curate a collection of items that match my own taste, temperament and comfort level. Just having that level of control has been a joy in itself and it is true what they say, about pushing your own key.

    Adulting’ is even more profound now, when I realize that I am truly responsible for taking care of myself. The ability to do it well is a privilege and responsibility I cherish. Even in the midst of acquiring, I’m also learning to be minimalist, removing clutter and focusing on the things that matter most.

    Make Space

    So now that I’m on my own, I have to be mindful of the temptation to just chill and enjoy my own company all the time. I have to push myself to carve out time and activities that take me beyond the four walls of my abode. For some reason, it’s kinda difficult. I’m never lonely, so I really have to drum up the urge to get up and out of my space and do things. I’m getting a better grip of this, but for a while, I felt almost like a hermit. I joked with a friend, when I initially moved that I was nesting, but having nested I’m now more comfortable planning activities and just taking on the road with my friends. Stepping out of my literal comfort zone is as much for entertainment as it is for survival and when I don’t want to step out, I host.

    In My Zone

    The one thing you become acutely aware of when you live alone is yourself. It’s inevitable, because you will be spending a good amount of time on your own. If I was never comfortable really being alone before, then spending the past year living solo has fully converted me. The most invaluable insight though has been an appreciation of not just my own company but coming to terms with the fact that at the end of the day you are responsible for yourself. Surviving and thriving is up to you as an adult, and while there are those who love and support you, it’s your responsibility. Recognising and coming to terms with my own independence has been empowering and continues to push me forward.

    I’m happy that I had good practice taking care of myself otherwise this would’ve been a much longer post.

    How are you making the most of your ‘alone ‘time? Let me know in the comments.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • How a one month break from Instagram shifted my focus

    How a one month break from Instagram shifted my focus

    I have been adrift.

    Somewhat overwhelmed by work, some aspects of life and just the cut and thrust of existing.

    There’s a fix however, that most of us have access to, if we are full time employed: Vacation days! So I decided to take some.

    Even before my vacation time had come, I made a decision quite early that I would temporarily deactivate my Instagram account.

    In my last blog post I mentioned how much of a time suck it is for me. I ended up deactivating a week before going on vacation and the expected FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) never materialized. I ended up remaining off instagram for a little over 4 weeks.

    For the Love

    It’s sometimes hard for me to adequately convey how I feel about the platform. What I know for sure, is that it can devour my time, and some content can be triggering. It doesn’t help that my work revolves around social media, so I usually have need to use the platform more often than not.

    Just to be clear, I LOVE social media.

    It’s through social media that I have been able to make meaningful and lasting connections with people who, with my otherwise introverted self, I would not have had access to. Additionally, it satisfies my insatiable need for information and with a carefully curated list of sources, I’m pretty content with what I am able to access and digest.

    There is however another side to social media that I find tiring – the performance of it all!

    Tiring as opposed to problematic, because I don’t believe that taking and sharing a picture to tell a story about something exciting happening in my life is a problem. I do find tiring, this seeming innate and pathological need to convince the world that ‘I AM OK’.

    Now this is me, I’m not even sure this is what other people feel, but I got to this point where I felt like every post needed to be a visual representation of the fact that, I’m alive, I’m thriving and having the best time of my life. That shit gets tired.

    This is not on Instagram, it’s on me.

    The smiles are never forced, and for the most part I have more good days than bad, but I started questioning this ‘obligation’ to let the world know what and when those were.

    Making it Real

    Over the past couple of years, I’ve actually started to be much more deliberate about what I decide to post on social media, and what aspects of my life I share. But unlike ‘influencers’ and Instagram famous people, who curate their timelines for aesthetics, I simply wanted to keep some things sacred.

    So in a way, I’ve flipped it. Things that I used to feel that I needed to share to allow others to know what’s going on in my life, I feel a bit more protective of, now.

    I threw off what felt almost like a chore and chose to just live and enjoy moments.

    This article written by New York Times tech columnist, Kevin Roose, brought me some eye opening perspective on phone use and how disruptive it can be if left unchecked.

    He untethered from his phone for 30 days, which allowed him to pick up new hobbies, and resulted in him reducing the amount of time he spent using his device.

    My own experience, though much less intense, allowed me to make some important observations. The most revealing, was just how little I know about the lives of my friends and former close acquaintances, even though we are connected via social media.

    Connect (ed)

    Sadly, the invasiveness of social media fools us into believing that we are plugged into the lives of our loved ones… So we know that our friend from high school is getting married, having a baby and just got a promotion.

    But social media is just a balcony with a view.

    In fact I’ll go further and say, social media access to the lives of our friends is merely a pair of binoculars. You can see everything in detail, from miles away, but you’re not really there, involved and participating.

    Being a spectator in the lives of our friends, through social media, is not the same as being involved. I came to this realization, when I didn’t have the same access to some people’s lives, without IG. It became clear, that while we are connected we aren’t truly connecting.

    Just because I have a friend on social media, it doesn’t mean that we are even having regular conversations.

    There are people I have known, who passed away and the last memory I have of connecting with them, was a photo they posted, that I liked.

    Not a call, not an in-person meet up, not even a conversation, just an ephemeral interaction on social media.

    I had to ask myself – “Was that meaningful enough?”

    It isn’t.

    Spark Joy

    Some of us (myself included) may take for granted the people in our lives because, we have virtual access to them on social media but what you see is not always the real deal.

    Because we all have that need to convince the world that we’re doing ok, based on what we post on our social media, it’s not good enough to just keep track.

    I now pursue more meaningful connections with my friends and some other acquaintances, off social media and work to be more present, in general.

    I’m also happy to report that taking a little time away from Instagram had another interesting side effect. I use the platform way less than before, now that I have returned.

    Previously, I depended on the in-app timer to alert me when I reached my 1 hour usage limit for the day. Now, I’m not even being alerted because I spend so few minutes of my day browsing.

    I feel a bit more conscious of the presence of my loved ones and I can truly treasure their presence. Even better, I’m more interested in their lives. This is what being social is truly about for me.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Kevin

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  • How to add more time to your days

    How to add more time to your days

    Musician and actor, Henry Rollins famously sang the following lyrics, in his song Shine:

    “No such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as down time. All you got is life time… Go!”

    The past couple of months have brought time and how I value it into much sharper focus and in every aspect of my life I see the role it plays.

    Case in point, I recently started intermittent fasting as a means of controlling my weight and to overhaul the way I eat.

    For the uninitiated, intermittent fasting is NOT a diet, more than anything it is a way of managing how much time you spend consuming, digesting and converting food to energy.

    There are different ratios that can be used when doing this type of fast, with the most popular being the 8 to 16 hour ratio. This means that you spend 16 hours fasting, and 8 eating. I generally follow a more strict eating window, with a ratio of 6 to 18 hours, which I have found manageable and effective.

    Reclaiming my time

    Due to the fasting, I have become so much more conscious of the amount of time I spend eating, and exactly what I am eating during that time. In fact one of the biggest benefits of intermittent fasting has been the amount of time I’ve been able to save as part of the process.

    Because I don’t break my fast at the normal ‘breakfast time’ that I used to, I no longer have to bother myself with making breakfast. Once I make a healthy lunch, I’m not stumped at lunch time, trying to figure out what to eat.

    Do you realize how much time you spend trying to choose your food?

    This renewed consciousness of ‘my time’ has actually helped me to become a bit more productive at work as well. Now more than ever, I am deeply interested in ensuring that every hour of my day is spent efficiently and doing what I said I planned to.

    How much do you have?

    time

    Sometimes my ambition for personal improvement seems to outpace the amount of time I have in each day. Let’s consider it all: the gym takes time, reading takes time, the personal project takes time, work seems to be all over the place with its time, watching Netflix is time being used… everything uses up our time, but we are trying to do it all, guilt free.

    There’s no secret way to add hours to the days but if you look closely there are valuable pockets of time in each of our days that can help us to get more done.

    For example, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make time to read for pleasure. The solution that works so far, is allotting two hours before bed to reading and/or when necessary, a few hours before getting ready for work in the mornings.

    It’s a deliberate effort of course, but once you’ve identified that time, you just have to do whatever it takes to get it done.

    Time Sucks Are Everywhere!

    One of the more important things any of us can do is to identify the things that waste our time. What are those ‘time-sucks’ in your life?

    Prime suspect numero uno in my life is my smart phone!

    The typical scenario is: I am doing something, or about to do something, but decide to check my notifications or look at posts on Instagram. The next thing I know, I look up and realize that I had descended down a rabbit hole and got lost for two hours… all that time wasted!

    This can happen with any social media network and the simple, uncomplicated solution is to put your phone down and out of reach. Even better, some social media platforms, namely Instagram, now have activity trackers that allow you to track how much time you spend on average using the app.

    Additionally it helps you to manage your time by setting a daily reminder once you have spent a preset amount of time of your choosing on the app. So I’ve currently set the app to notify me once I have completed an hour of use of instagram for the day.

    There are so many things we can do to save, and take more control of our time. But probably the most important thing we can do is be more aware of the time we do have and fill it with moments that bring us joy.

    What are some of the ways you are saving time? Let me know in the comments.

    Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

    Subscribe to the blog here  and share your content suggestions here.

    Kevin